Smallville

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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Follow Me. Zor-Else!

Commercials. They still want you to be a vlogger, whatever that means. I think this episode sure deserves a two-minute video rant.

Daily Planet. We see the non-moving eclipse up above the building. Everyone is standing around watching through a window instead of hammering out copy or making phone calls. Worst newsroom ever. The guy who bought Jimmy's tickets for his boyfriend recently, says, "Oh God, if this is the apocalypse, I'd better get my dogs." I like the wacky gay office workers better on Ugly Betty. Lois wanders by saying she's sure there's some boring scientific explanation and that the sun doesn't just blow out like a birthday candle. Everyone in the office is like, "Shut up, slut." Boy Editor bellows that it's time for everyone stop gawking and to stop working. He says they're journalists, not stargazers. Lois gives him a seductive look that nobody seems to notice. "Lane. I knew you'd be burning a hole in your retina," he tells her. Lois, so completely oblivious it hurts, says she's been looking all over the building for him. Did you look in your pants? He tells her he needs to see her in his office, five minutes ago. In the office, they both try to break it off. Lois says that for a girl not used to being swept off her feet, she's blowing in the wind here. Blowing is right. Grant says he's soaring through the clouds. Free-ballin'. They both finish each others' sentences that they need to end it, that this is inappropriate, that Boy Editor is her boss, that it's totally unprofessional. Lois says it'll be easy as pie. "I never even liked you that much," she says. He doesn't believe it. The both walk to the door, agreeing that it's all over, like it never happened. Try telling that to your co-workers. Then it all goes out the window like Zor-El, because Lois and Grant start kissing again. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And we're supposed to be rooting for Lois?

The Fortress of Solitude suddenly looks like it's in the Middle East with the washed-out sepia filter. The eclipse is on the horizon. Lara pulls from the dildo rack the giant glowing dagger that was going to be used on Zod (at least I think it's the same one). Is this a dildo I see before me? Kara comes to her and apologizes for her father. She thought he had changed. Lara is forgiving. Lara says her husband always kept a dagger at home; he was a peaceful man, but would do anything to protect his family. She says she won't let Zor-El hurt her son. Kara wants to be the stabber. Lara says she'll defeat him. Kara insists, saying that if Lara fails, Zor-El will kill her. Yeah, let's just trust the fate of the universe to Miss Sweet Corn. Lara, stupidly, gives Kara the dagger. Kara promises she won't let Lara get killed.

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Smallville

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