Smallville

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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Follow Me. Zor-Else!

Zor-El whooshes in. He says he's searched everywhere, but Clark's nowhere to be found. Well then you didn't look everywhere, did you? Lara doesn't believe that Zor-El really looked. Zor-El asks when Lara is going to trust him. Just then, Kara tries to stab her father in the neck. He grabs her wrist easily. "You would kill your own father?" he asks. No summer stock for you! The dagger falls aside. Kara wants to protect the Earth. She's learned that everything he told her about humans was wrong. They are good people, she says, and worth defending. Eh, we're OK, I guess. Zor-El can't believe this bullshit. He puts a chokehold on her. Lara tries to help Kara, but he tosses Lara across the room easily. Zor-El lifts Kara by the neck. He says, "You have no idea how much this pains me." It's like the time I was booed off the stage doing my one-man version of Camelot. Oh, how it stung! Zor-El says his duty surpasses his bond of blood. Ha ha, I said "duty." What a little scamp I am! Acting! SCIENCE! Kara says she can't breathe. That's the point of a choke, my dear. "Sorry, my angel," he says, touching her cheek. Does he have any other moves than the creepy cheek brush?

Suddenly, Zor-El falls. Slowly. Using The Method. Clark is standing behind him holding out a Kryptonite rock. He tells Zor-El to back away. Zor-El scampers off, trying to jump a short block of ice. Exit! Downstage center! Clark, giving Zor-El the Hate Eyes, jabs the Kryptonite against his chest. He should have gotten that lead-lined coat. "Clark! The crystal! You're the only one who can stop the eclipse!" Kara yells. Yeah, I'm sort of the middle of killing your dad here, do you mind? Clark, dumb as ever, leaves Zor-El to go take care of the rack o' dildos. He pulls out the big blue crystal. The lights go off and then come back on bright white. Outside, we see the exterior of the Fortress go from beige back to white. The sun is out again. Lara comes to Clark. She says Zor-El must be destroyed. Quick, take away his copy of Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares! She tells Clark to destroy the crystal. Clark doesn't want her to get destroyed along with Zor-El. Lara says that as long as Clark has that ring, he won't be able to fulfill the destiny she and Jor-El envisioned for Clark. Clark says it's more important that they're together. Lara says she'll always be with Clark. "Destroy it!" she says. Zor-El is like, "Hey, guys? I'm still here! Doing stage business! What's my motivation for not wiggling until this rock falls off my chest?" Zor-El does just that. Ha ha! I have the upper hand! I shall let loose the dogs of war and My Science Method! Kara tries to wrestle with her dad. Lara tells Clark to "Do it! Save Kara!" Yeah, the bitch that betrayed us? I'll get right on that. Let me just check my do-to list. Oh, right, it says, "Don't fucking save Kara." Zor-El lets loose a mighty growl and tries to push Kara to impale her on the ice dildos: "Grrrrrrrr! I'm projecting to the upper balcony!" Clark turns and swings at the rack of dildos. In this shot, Kara and Zor-El have magically disappeared. The blue crystal shatters in slow motion. Everything turns to mist. "Mom," Clark says. Everyone has disappeared except Clark. Clark calls for Kara. She's not here, either. The camera pulls way back as Clark keeps calling for her.

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Smallville

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