Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
Follow Me. Zor-Else!

Clark doesn't think this dude wants to save anyone. Zor-El says it's for the greater good. That's something Jor-El didn't understand, because he was a feeble-minded pacifist. He should have never dropped out of Drama Club. Clark says his dad did the best he could. Zor-El asks where he is now. He's just a voice. But Zor-El is here, in the flesh, ready to do some real acting. "Let's go get your mother," he says, trying to touch Clark's face in a familiar way. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. "I'll never join you," Clark says. You're not my father, Darth Vader! Clark tries to fight, but Zor-El grabs him. He says if he'd raised Clark, Clark wouldn't be such a slack-ass. He throws Clark onto a hood of a car. Clark is hurt. He's bleeding. Zor-El says that the blue ring might symbolize victory back home, but here, it means defeat. It's a -3 to Strength and +4 Poison to Goblin Attacks. Zor-El says he had this whole thing planned and knew that Lara would give Clark the ring. Clark says this whole thing was a trick. Tricks are for magicians and cheap whores, Clark. This is SCIENCE! Zor-El knew that he could count on Clark's stupidity. It's a scientific fact. Zor-El slides aside the car that Clark landed on to get to him. He grabs Clark and tells him that his destiny is to rule. On Guitar Hero. He says they can do it together, as a family. Clark says Zor-El's not his family. He's like Uncle Chester, the Child Molester. Zor-El gets mad and says that if it weren't for Lara, he'd kill Clark right now. But we must save it for the third act! He flies away.

Upstairs in the clock tower, Lana is pouring some tea for Lara. She spills some of it. Lara thinks Lana is ill at ease. She's ill at everything. Lana lies, saying she's fine. Lara thinks Lana is worried she'll discover the darkness she's trying to conceal. Lara suggests Lana not let that darkness overpower the good in her. "You must fight it," she says. Zor-El appears on the balcony, calling for Lara. Lara tells Lana to leave. In one motion, Zor-El sashays in, grabs Lara, and tells her they have a new life waiting up north. What are they, migrant farmer Kryptonians? Lana tells Zor-El to let Lara go. Clark appears in the elevator just in time to see Lana thrown roughly against the elevator grate. She goes unconscious. Clark goes to help her. Zor-El has taken Lara with him. Clark's still bleeding.

Commercials. Rock Band. By the time this recap is published, it'll be safe for me to say I've been playing it and it's freakin' awesome. I swear to you.

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