Smallville

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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Follow Me. Zor-Else!

The Daily Planet. Foreboding music plays. Please wash your hands on your way out: people are having sex on the premises. Clark, still looking all beaten up, comes down the stairs looking for Chloe. Chloe puts her hand on his cheek and says she wasn't expecting it to be Raging Bull bad. Now Clark has to gain 40 pounds. Hey, you should see the other guy. He's actually...perfectly fine and signing up for Rent auditions. Clark says the doctors told him that Lana has no internal injuries and will be fine. Like we care. Chloe says Clark's not so hot: she says blood and sweat are never a good combination on Clark. Chloe suggests Clark refrain from wearing rings of any kind until his wedding day. Clark says it was all a trick, part of Zor-El's plan. He says he couldn't ignore his mother's calling voice. Chloe says she knows all about wanting to find your long-lost mother, but that the sad reality is that Clark's mom died. She says he can't bring her back from the dead. Clark says she's not a zombie (though that would have been a more interesting idea for this episode). Clark says he has to do everything to save his mother. Chloe tells him good luck with that: he's got no powers. Chloe gets the idea that Kara can help. Clark says grumpily that she betrayed him. She's on her father's side. Clark needs a ride from Chloe. He says he has to get this ring off his finger and go to the Fortress. Chloe says, "My Yaris gets awesome mileage, but I seriously doubt it'll get us to the North Pole." Oh, Yaris. I did so miss your product placement. You must have been jealous of Project Scion. Clark just needs a ride to the barn. Which is still a few hours away. Hope he's got some cash to pitch in on gas money.

Lair of Lex. Lex is playing pool and telling his guest that Metropolis is pretty awesome and that there are no finer women anywhere. But then, he says, his guest has probably figured that out. The guest is...Boy Editor. Boy Editor says he hasn't had time for that, because of work. Lex can't believe he's not dating anyone. He asks about the legion of female reporters scurrying under Boy Editor's feet. Huh? Feet? "Lois Lane, for example," Lex says, giving Boy Editor a look. "Sexy, smart..." Lex says. He can't think of any other adjectives for Lois. Dear sir, may I kindly offer: Dumb shit. Boy Editor pretends not to know what Lex is talking about in terms of dating her. He sinks a solid blue ball. Was that a metaphor? Lex asks if Boy Editor is researching an article on Lois's bra size lately. Hey, you brought up her tits, not me, show. Now they're fair game. Boy Editor just smiles. Lex says word travels fast. "Why not tell me?" he asks. Boy Editor thinks it wasn't relevant. Lex thinks his buddy should be free to date anyone at The Planet, just not Lois Lane. Boy Editor Grant asks what's wrong with Lois, other than her bad spelling. Lex says she has an insatiable curiosity. Oh, thank goodness. I thought he was going to say "cockthirst." He says it's only a matter of time before Lois connects the dots. Grant says the situation is under control. He says he can easily keep her out of their business. Lex puts down the pool cue to show he's serious. "I know you're careful, but it's not worth the risk," he tells Boy Editor. He says he's sorry, but Grant will have to end it. Grant says he's fully aware of everything Lex has done for him (are you sure about that?), but that doesn't give Lex the right to control his life. Lex begs to differ. "Remember, if it weren't for me, you'd be nothing." I think he's a clone! The dialogue is just a little too obvious. Boy Editor stands here holding his pool cue while Lex exits.

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Smallville

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