Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
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All That Glitters
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The show opens on Clark and Lois walking down the only street in Metropolis. Clark has finally remembered that he's supposed to be wearing glasses whenever he's not doing his Blur stuff. Unfortunately, he's also remembered that he's a big old whiner. "These glasses are driving me crazy," he boohoos to Lois. "So you've said," she replies without sympathy. Apparently he's been complaining about this for a while. Wouldn't it be cool if he could complain at super-speed? That way, he could get through hours and hours of whining in a couple of seconds and everybody could just move the hell on. Instead, he goes on at normal speed: "And this jacket is not helping." It's a perfectly normal trench coat of the sort we've seen him wear before, but suddenly he finds it terribly chafing for some reason. Lois sighs and stops in the middle of the sidewalk to remind him that it was his decision to treat "Clark Kent" as the mask and the Blur as his real self. Lucky for them, the people milling around them must be deaf or completely oblivious. Clark drops his voice to a whisper, takes off his glasses and reminds us of the damage the VRA did to the heroes. He says he needs to show his face before people stop trusting him again. Lois holds up a copy of the morning paper as proof of his high standing in the community. Headline: "Mayor Offers Blur Key to the City." Clark starts to "yeah but" her, but she cuts him off. "Before that handsome hero face ends up on Jumbo-Tron screens in all your red and blue glory, we need to make sure that there is nothing handsome or heroic about Clark Kent!"

This is just so, so dumb. If they were going to have him wearing glasses at the end of the series, it needed to happen much sooner. Like, in the first season, before his handsome, heroic and glasses-free face ended up in yearbooks and newspapers. Hell, he was even briefly on TV! I know that this show's world is populated by idiots, but if everyone were truly this challenged, the bulk of Clark's rescues would consist of going around reminding people how to breathe in and out. Even if people weren't smart, they're still nitpicky and nosy! They're going to remember his face and point out all the times they saw him. This whole disguise storyline makes a tiny spot in the upper left part of my brain throb. I can feel it right now. I'd better move on before gray matter starts shooting out my ear.

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Smallville

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