More soft cutting, this time to the two of them in bed. They're totally doing it! Oh my God! Somebody finally got laid on this show! And not like in 1961 or some bullshit. Real, honest-to-God nookie! Take that, ABC Family Channel! The camera pulls up as Mystery Red (now Mystery Naked) is totally mounting Lex. She's planted like a reverse pole vault. The song hits the "wipe sweat, take a sip of your Appletini" lull. We pan over to a bottle of champagne and two glasses. The Metropolis skyline is framed nicely in the background.

Dudes, that was hot! But you know what's even better than drunken one-night-stand sex? Morning-after "She still looks hot! Whoa!" sex. The night turns to day as we continue staring at champagne glasses. The camera pans back toward the bed. Oh yeah! Time to wake up and smell the nookie! We pan past the red dress and other clothes on the floor. I can't really tell from this shot if Lex is a boxers or briefs man. In fact, it looks like he doesn't wear any undies at all. Hot! We pan some more up to Lex sleeping naked on his side. "Housekeeping!" we hear from outside. A Latina maid enters the room (sure, of course she's Latina, Smallville) and looks at the bed. She screams and runs off. Lex wakes up, all, "Huh? Wha?" He turns, and sees that there's a bloody body next to him. The sheets are covered in the stuff. Lex looks at his own hands. There's blood on them, but not too heavy. The woman's hands are tied to the headboard, but you really have to look to notice that. The camera doesn't linger on this fact, even though we do get a close-up of the bloody face. Guess no morning nookie, then.

Opening credits. I almost forgot what show this was for a minute.

Wow, the commercials really make it seem like Target is the coolest place on Earth. That's only mostly true.

The round Metropolis courthouse. A gaggle/flock/herd of reporters are waiting for Lex Luthor as he exits with his legal team. College football music: dum da da dum YEAH! At #8, defensive tight end Dirk Howe! (Raaah!) At #29, dirt-slinging cross examiner Marsha Collinsworth! (Wooo!) And it's red-haired Nelly Galan-looking defensive linewoman at #89, telling Lex not to answer any questions. Dum da dad um YEAH! Da da da dum.... The defensive linewoman holds up her hand and tells everybody that her client has no comment.