Smallville
Bound

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Sex, Lies, And Security Video

"Lex," Clark says. "Clark," Lex says. Love, love, LOVE! And jealousy. Clark goes all Vanessa Bryant on Kobe with the "Who was she?!" "What did you do!?" "Where's my $4 million diamond, you bastard!" Clark asks Lex how he's holding up. Yes, how is the cheating bastard holding up? "I trust you're here as a friend," Lex says. Or lover? You don't have to be one or the other...ohhhhh noooo. Clark says he just wants to know that Lex didn't do this. Lex steps forward and puts his hands on Clark's upper arms. "I met a girl at the opera," Lex says. "I took her to a hotel. I didn't kill her." "Who was she?" Clark asks. Who was that tramp!? Lex says he doesn't know. Clark is shocked, shocked that Lex slept with her but didn't know her name. Lex goes on a little tangent about how it's one of those nights that never happened, when you meet someone and get caught up in the moment. Lex looks at Clark with searching eyes, asking the virgin farmboy to imagine a night of hot, passionate boffing. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Lex insists that he's not a murderer, and that he thinks his father might be framing him. Clark says that Papa Luthor is in prison. Lex asks if that really matters. To the Cubans in Cell Block F it sure does: Papa Luthor is worth three shivs and two cartons of Camels. Lex tells Clark to go home, and not to get involved with this heterosexual mess. Clark is so, so hurt.

The Talon at night. Lana is in bed, alone, having a nightmare. The camera shakes as it shows a close-up of her. Something is growling. Lana jerks in bed. We cut to an overexposed shots of Countess Theroux being burned at the stake, some blood dribbling out of her mouth. Her eyes jerk humorously. The torch-wielding mob is yelling. We cut to a shot of Lana rubbing the cave symbol back in Paris. Fire. The Countess chants. The dude from last week is accusing her of practicing the dark arts. And just then, Jane Seymour in a very puffy outfit, sporting what appears to be a felt curtain rod with hanging chains on her head, steps to the front of the mob. Quick cut shots of a tattoo symbol, the spell book, the mob. Jane Seymour speaks in French. Lots more quick cuts. Lana gets flashed with bright light in Paris. The Countess laughs. Jane Seymour's eyes go purply-pink. Freaky! The Countess stops smiling. Fire flashes. Lana wakes up gasping and sweaty. So...Yeah. All right. Thanks for that.

Kansas State Penitentiary. Inside, Clark has arrived to visit with Papa Luthor, who is waiting upstairs. The suddenly benevolent Papa Luthor thanks Clark for coming and says it's good to see him. He offers a handshake, but Clark doesn't take it. Papa Luthor smiles and shows Clark to a table as if he's a waiter looking for a generous tip. They sit. Papa Luthor asks about Lex. He says he's tried to contact Lex, but that Lex won't talk to him. Clark says that Lex thinks Papa Luthor is trying to frame him. Papa turns his head quickly in shame. Clark asks if he's doing that. "No, Clark," Papa Luthor says. Papa Luthor acknowledges that there's no reason Clark should believe him, though. Holding his hands on the sides of his head, Papa Luthor patiently explains that he was sick with the liver cancer, and that something happened to cure him. He remembers waking up on the floor during the riot: "I felt as if...a different kind of energy had been...inside me." But that's practically every night in most prisons. What's different, though, is that this energy was strong and good. Clark fails to show an emotion as Papa Luthor says that the experience changed him. He chuckles with genuine joy. "And my liver had healed!" he concludes. Clark asks what it was that did it. Papa Luthor doesn't know, but says it was a miracle: "The darkness...the destructive power that had always been inside me, I can see it in Lex now." Papa Luthor says he has to help his son. Clark asks if Papa Luthor thinks Lex murdered the girl. Papa doesn't think so. He says that it was a crime of passion or a frame-up. He asks if the girl had a car. Clark says that Lex drove her to the hotel in his Ferrari. Papa Luthor starts talking about Lex's patterns; Lex would have had the girl drive her own car so that Lex wouldn't have to deal with driving her home the next day or, I guess, paying for cab fare. Papa Luthor asks if the girl had dark hair. Clark nods. Papa Luthor says the girl reminded Lex of Lilian, his mom. Ewwwwww! Papa Luthor asks Clark to help Lex. He tells Clark to bring him any information he finds. Clark, looking freaked out, says he still doesn't trust Papa Luthor. "I know," says Papa Luthor. "But you will be back. Won't you?" Clark doesn't answer. He just exits.

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