Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1216 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Cops + Capes = Crap

Isis. Lana loads in a flash drive to a very cool desk USB hub. It glows! This scratches my geek itch and is relevant to my interests! Lana is wearing a Bluetooth headset. She says she's uploading files taken from Tess's Wi-Fi network. On this show, the worst security threat is bad wireless Internet. On Lana's screen are pictures of bulky male bodies. They're like schematics to build big humanoid robots. [Please say Lex is building a battlesuit please say Lex is building a battlesuit. - Z] "I'm transmitting data to you now," she tells the person on the other end of the line. A message appears on the screen: "Data stream recorded from unknown WIFI device." Yeeks. Lana's got a crap network, too. Lana types furiously. Her nostrils flare in frustration. Unless you are prepared to rumble or call pest control, do not anger Formerly Pink Squirrel. If Formerly Pink Squirrel becomes enraged, back away slowly and watch for karate kicks.

Backyard barbecue. Danny Boy is cooking up some steaks, wieners and burgers. He's wearing a civilian hoodie. Clark is there and he's toned down his usual colors, instead wearing a gray T-shirt and dark jacket. Danny's little boy comes up to him and hugs him. The kid has on a blue shirt, red caps and a mask over his eyes. Clark kneels and asks if he's supposed to be Warrior Angel. "No, I'm Red-Blue Blur," the kid says. It's not very catchy a name, is it? Poor kid. He runs off. Danny shakes his head in disgust. He says it's a losing battle. "Don't worry Dad, he'll grow out of it." Whoah, hot Mama. Danny's wife is very, very pretty. She introduces herself to our "Joe." Clark says it's nice to meet her in person. And how! She figures out that Clark must be talking about the photo in the car. Danny's busted. She's surprised he's still carrying that thing around. She says it was from their senior year. Danny kisses her right on the lips. Aw. Danny's kid calls for his dad. He fell and hurt his knee. As Danny goes to help, the wife, Suzie, thanks Clark for looking out for her husband. She says Danny was really torn up over losing his last partner. He lost WHAT!? This is dangerous!

Clark goes into investigative mode. It hurts. He asks how long they rode together. She says they graduated from the academy at the same time. One day they went out, she says, and only Danny came home. Mike, she says, thought he was bulletproof. She says she holds her breath every night waiting for Danny to walk through the door. Clark watches Danny play with his kid. Ow. Heart. Hurts. Make. Stop. The Closed Captioning says that Suzie's next line is about the world needing Danny. It's oddly absent from the actual audio. Instead, she just says, "We just need him more." Strange edit there, show. The elder veteran cop from earlier calls out Clark. "Fordman!" he bellows, "the rookie really earned his keep today." He toasts Clark, along with his partner, who looks like a thinner, younger clone. The cops all hope they're as lucky tomorrow. Clark walks up to Officer Obviously Corrupt and brings up what happened to Martian Manhunter. He wisely doesn't use the word "Martian" or "Manhunter." Corrupt half-heartedly agrees. He says it's a shame nobody really knew Jones. He says a lone wolf like Jones stands out from the pack, and that's not a good thing. "Safety in numbers?" Clark asks. Corrupt says they're all like brothers. He says it's hard to stick your neck out for a guy you barely know. "Isn't that what police officers are supposed to do?" Clark asks. Oh, just go home, rookie. Corrupt chuckles. So does his younger counterpart, Officer Obviously Corrupt Jr. "You believe the stones on this guy?" Corrupt asks. He thinks Clark is just awesome. Naïve and stupid, but awesome. He advises Clark keep his eyes on the streets and leave the detective work to the desk jockeys. "And don't be stupid like Jones," he adds, "Always wear your vest." Clark frowns. Corrupt's cell phone vibrates. Corrupt Jr. gets a beep. Danny's phone goes off, too. He tells Clark they have to go. Suzie looks worried. The potato salad's just not gonna keep. Clark looks at her with concern as they walk to the car.

Smallville

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