Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | Grade It Now!
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Cops + Capes = Crap

We open on an adorable plastic alien toy hanging from the rearview mirror of a police squad car in Metropolis. It's nighttime. The alien is a little green Martian with ear-horns sitting in a tiny spaceship, hanging from a keychain. How cute is that? To add to the joy, we find out that we're in the squad car of Officer John Jones, better known as Martian Manhunter (now without powers). He's calling dispatch, asking for a "20" (or, "Two tens." I would always be asking for one "40.") on a suspect. The suspect is driving north on Riverside with "Black and White" in pursuit. Harmonious! Manhunter does a drifty turn and speeds in pursuit. His siren and lights are on. The SUV he's chasing plows through some boxes and swerves to just miss an 18-wheeler. Jones has to stop his cop car to avoid a crash. The suspect, a puffy Asian dude with long, sleek hair, grins at having gotten away. Jones smartly circles back around and heads straight for the suspect. Have you ever played Martian Chicken? It's like regular chicken, but green. Manhunter keeps his cool, but the criminal loses it. He swerves to the right and hits a fence, then a parked car. The suspect unwisely runs out of the car and right into Manhunter's arms. Dammit! Passenger side next time!

Jones throws him against the fence. He gets punched, but still manages to get the long-haired dude on the ground. "You're under arrest for three counts of murder!" Manhunter tells him. Caught! Guess that's why they call him "Manhunter." Three weird, unnecessary cuts of the city are shown before we cut right back to the exact same location, minutes later. Another squad car has arrived to carry Longhair off. Jones thanks the officers for their assistance. Officer Obviously Corrupt gives him a slightly dirty look and says, "Just doing our job, Detective." Uh-oh. Trouble. He gives Jones one more unfriendly look before getting in the car. Jones grimaces. Mmm, those guys don't like me. Is it because I'm... a Martian? The police car drives off, leaving Manhunter alone. Suddenly, there's a gunshot. It pierces a Dumpster next to him. He ducks into the car, but the windshield is blown out. He tries to get out through the passenger side, but a bullet pierces the car door. A second bullet goes through the door and hits him right in the chest. Manhunter is knocked back and lands lying on his back. He's got a nasty, bloody wound on his upper-left chest. We cut to a sniper putting away the weapon. We don't see the person's face, but they're wearing a Metropolis police badge.

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Smallville

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