Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | Grade It Now!
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Cops + Capes = Crap

Clark goes into investigative mode. It hurts. He asks how long they rode together. She says they graduated from the academy at the same time. One day they went out, she says, and only Danny came home. Mike, she says, thought he was bulletproof. She says she holds her breath every night waiting for Danny to walk through the door. Clark watches Danny play with his kid. Ow. Heart. Hurts. Make. Stop. The Closed Captioning says that Suzie's next line is about the world needing Danny. It's oddly absent from the actual audio. Instead, she just says, "We just need him more." Strange edit there, show. The elder veteran cop from earlier calls out Clark. "Fordman!" he bellows, "the rookie really earned his keep today." He toasts Clark, along with his partner, who looks like a thinner, younger clone. The cops all hope they're as lucky tomorrow. Clark walks up to Officer Obviously Corrupt and brings up what happened to Martian Manhunter. He wisely doesn't use the word "Martian" or "Manhunter." Corrupt half-heartedly agrees. He says it's a shame nobody really knew Jones. He says a lone wolf like Jones stands out from the pack, and that's not a good thing. "Safety in numbers?" Clark asks. Corrupt says they're all like brothers. He says it's hard to stick your neck out for a guy you barely know. "Isn't that what police officers are supposed to do?" Clark asks. Oh, just go home, rookie. Corrupt chuckles. So does his younger counterpart, Officer Obviously Corrupt Jr. "You believe the stones on this guy?" Corrupt asks. He thinks Clark is just awesome. Naïve and stupid, but awesome. He advises Clark keep his eyes on the streets and leave the detective work to the desk jockeys. "And don't be stupid like Jones," he adds, "Always wear your vest." Clark frowns. Corrupt's cell phone vibrates. Corrupt Jr. gets a beep. Danny's phone goes off, too. He tells Clark they have to go. Suzie looks worried. The potato salad's just not gonna keep. Clark looks at her with concern as they walk to the car.

Isis at night. Lana finds Tess coming in through the front door. Would somebody please turn on a light? Tess says she's not as good a judge of character as she thought. She accuses Lana of stealing her data. Well, if your Wi-FI network wasn't called "MERCY'S AWESOME MP3S," maybe she wouldn't have found it. "And I thought we were bonding," Tess adds. Lana glibly shoots back, "Rain check on girls' night?" Tess circles around Lana, saying she finally sees what Lex saw in this squirrel. "You're stunning," Tess says, creepily. Uh... thanks? Lesbian? I think she used the wrong word; instead of "Stunning," she probably meant, "Stupefying." "And devious," Tess adds. "What Lex saw in me... was an equal," Lana tells her. Eh, not quite. Lex wouldn't have tried so hard to control her if he really thought she was as sneaky as him. Lana says Lex couldn't control her. "Reeeally?" Tess purrs. She says maybe she shouldn't send her condolences about the miscarriage, then. Yeeks. Low-blow, lady. Lana, disgusted, says it gave her perspective on who Lex really was. Lana tries to walk past Tess, but Tess pulls a gun. She says that Lex may have thought it was the only way to keep Lana, but he really did love her. Tess says that when Lana stole that data, she corrupted their files and they lost everything. Always have a backup! They never learn! Tess says that Prometheus is the one chance Lex has at survival. Tough tittie, Tessie. Lana turns on her Squirrel Fu. She pulls at Tess's arm, making the gun go off. She pushes Tess against the door, breaking the glass on it. Tess punches and Lana karate-blocks the blows. Lana swings Tess and throws her against the lavender file cabinets. Kicking! Karate! Lana rolls on the floor. Tess tackles her and they both sail through a door. More glass breaks. More punching. Tess lands a few blows, but Lana connects on more punches and kicks. Lana is thrown against a lamp. She makes a mean face. Bitch, this is my BEST LAMP! Tess slides Lana along the top of a table. Lana rolls with it and finds the gun on the floor. She aims it at Tess. Tess, her lip bloodied, stops. Don't mess with the fists of flying squirrel, lady.

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Smallville

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