Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 538 USERS: C+
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Snideface: The Revenge

Stately Luthor Manor. Clark is sitting in Lex's office, across the desk. He says that maybe it's not a good idea that he's sitting next to Lana at the rehearsal. Lex asks what happened. Clark says he doesn't know. Lex leans forward: "Clark. None of us really understands the fairer sex." Gayest. Look. Of the episode. Gayest line ever, for that matter. "That's why we're so captivated by them," Lex says. Yeah, Judy Garland, Cher, Madonna. Just captivating. Clark says he went for it last night. Oh yeah. Techno clubbin' at the Boyz Cellar! Lex asks if Lana shot Clark down. Clark says it was the opposite. She shot him up? With drugs? Clark says it was a perfect moment, but this morning... "She wanted to pretend it didn't happen," Lex finishes. Lex says that Clark has upped the stakes, and now Lana is scared. Lex says she wants to cut her losses. Looking right at Lex, Clark says the following: "But we're meant to be together. I've never been so sure about anything in my life." "Well, don't tell me, Clark," Lex says. I'm going to need a meat cleaver to cut through this deliciousness, people. "Tell her," Lex says. Or don't. You could just stay here.

Lana is riding her horse. She's wearing lots of blue again. She stops the horse in front of Clark and dismounts. Boy, is she tiny. She and Dr. Dropkick could be stunt doubles for Tom Cruise when he wears his hair long. Clark says that the night before was a big deal for him, and that if she doesn't feel the same way, she doesn't have to avoid calling him. Has it even been a day yet since their conversation at the Talon? Lana says it meant a lot to her, too. She says that things just feel a lot more complicated. I hereby blame Avril for giving teen girls everywhere an adjective for relationships that doesn't really say a goddamned thing. Clark asks whether this is about Chloe. No. It's About the Lana. All Lana, All the Time. Lana says that she is concerned about what's-her-face. She says that there are three friendships at stake, and that she doesn't want to lose the one with Clark. The other two? She could take them or leave them. Clark says that the friendship isn't going to go anywhere; it's just going to become something better. Oh, you poor, stupid man. Lana asks what happens if things don't work out. She asks if their friendship will survive. Clark doesn't know. He says he's wanted this for so long, he thinks it's worth taking a chance. Suddenly, we hear a floating voice: "The day is coming," it says. Lana doesn't hear it, but Clark starts getting distracted. He turns. The horse makes a noise. Overhead camera zooms down on Clark as he looks up. We hear the voice repeat itself. Lana looks freaked out. "I'm sorry, I have to go," Clark says. And he does. Kansan Man of Mystery.

Smallville

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