Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: D | Grade It Now!
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My Super-Boring Ex-Boyfriend

Daily Planet. Clark and Lois are hunched over the same computer, commiserating over having to compete over the same job. Clark guesses Sacks must have powerful friends to get a life sentence reversed. Powerful friends or weak writing. He consults the almighty Internet's "underground blogs" and learns that there's a party being held that night at Maxwell's in Ray's honor. Lois despairs. "It'd be easier to crash the White House than it would be to sneak into that party!" Eh, it's not that hard to crash the White House. You just need the right outfit and lax security, which this show has in spades! Lois suggests they split up to cover more ground, and Clark pretends he thinks it's a good idea. "Can't wait for tonight," Lois adds as she leaves. Clark sort of just sits there, so the camera follows Lois into the elevator. What transpires next is an embarrassing series of phone calls to Zod. He doesn't answer, so she blathers at length before ever getting to the reason she called and exceeds the voicemail limit. Twice. She finally gets to the point and asks for the Blur's help on the Sacks case. There are two other people on the elevator for the last call, so, you know, way to keep your association with the Blur a secret, Lane.

Clark is in mid-gripe as we catch up to him inside Watchtower. "Lois will find a way to see Sacks before the party tonight, Chloe." He paces and wrings his hands about needing to get to Sacks first. Chloe, who's busy using Oliver's funds to upgrade Watchtower's security and keeping an eye on the Fortress for Clark, says she gets it. "I understand the instinct to protect the ones that you love," she says, calming him down. "Half of being in a relationship with Lois is protecting her from herself," he says quietly. Chloe consults her tablet PC (she needs to upgrade to an iPad) and sees that Lois isn't the only one Sacks is after. It's all over the almighty Internet that Sacks is offering a million bucks for an image of the Blur's face. Clark looks like a confused sheepdog. "What's with this guy and his obsession with the Blur?" Chloe gently reminds Clark that he's the one who publicly disgraced Sacks and put him in jail. Clark suggests looking for Ray at some of his favorite haunts. Once again, the Internet has the answer...

...and the answer is some back-alley pizza place with a dirty sign and a mascot that makes Chef Boyardee look authentic. As a tuxedo-clad Ray steps out of his limo outside this fine dining establishment, Lois is there to greet him with a pizza box. "Mr. Sacks! Lois Lane from the Daily Planet. You may remember me from the roof of the Daily Planet." Oh, okay: Heh. My mild amusement is mitigated, however, by the fact that Lois is confronting this would-be murderer alone, at night, in an alley. She wants to know who let him out of jail, like he's just going to tell her. "You have too much faith in the Blur," Ray says. "You think you can meet with me like this, alone?" He snaps his fingers and a big brute of a man gets out of the limo. "My editor knows where I am," Lois says. "Hurt me and you'll be back behind bars before this pizza cools off." Ray thinks the solution would be to kill Lois and then hide the body so nobody finds it. Yeah, that won't be suspicious at all. Dumb heroes, dumb villains. Brutus aims a gun at Lois, who finally has sense to look scared. Ray gets back into the limo without even getting the pizza he came for. Brutus backs Lois further into the alley before he's suddenly lifted off his feet and tossed 30 feet by an unseen force. Yellow as baby poop, Ray tells the driver to get him out of there. Clark appears next to Brutus. A handy sheet of random plastic stands between him and Lois so she can only see his silhouette. She thanks him for answering her call. Clark goes, "Buh?" She goes on: "You have no idea what it means that you trusted me enough to let me help you these past weeks." She gushes about what a purpose she feels and pledges to help him in whatever way he needs. Clark once more goes, "Buh?" He leaps up and out of the alley to stand on a nearby rooftop, posed for a moment against that damned full moon before zipping away. Back on Terra Firma, Lois notices she's not alone. A scrawny little pizza delivery boy stumbles out of the alley, camera phone in hand. "The million's mine! I got a picture of the Blur!" Lois tries to stop him, but he easily knocks her over despite the fact that she's regularly able to take down highly trained thugs, guards, monsters and military types.

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Smallville

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