Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 876 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Club Dead

Clark asks Chloe to trace the site back to the source. She types. She says that they're bouncing the signal off a billion proxy servers. And the video still streams smoothly? Chloe says that the people running the site made sure nobody could find them. She asks if Oliver and Clark's "Super Pals" gave him any other information. Clark says that it was a short conversation, because he's been busy lately, but that Oliver thought the location of the fighting was nearby. Chloe says that the security on the site is "off the charts." Really? She says that she can't record or download the feed. That doesn't sound right. Can't you just output whatever's on the computer screen to a VCR or other recorder through a video card output? Chloe has also obviously never heard of Firefox plug-ins that let you do just that. The announcer on the video tries to do his sad shtick, declaring Titan/Kane the reigning champion. Folks cheer. Kane looks angry. Clark tells Chloe to freeze the frame. That she can do. Clark notices a detail on the guy's arm. Chloe is able to zoom in on it, even though she can't capture or do anything else with the video. It's an arm tattoo of Kryptonian symbols. Clark reads it, and says it's a prison tattoo. He figures out that Kane isn't meteor-infected. He's from the Phantom Zone. A scary sound plays. Oh shit!

Scary Luthor Manor, nighttime. Lana is in her room looking at a very unrealistic ultrasound picture that somehow has a flesh-colored 3-D image of her baby. Oy, am I the only person who thinks those 4-D ultrasound pictures are a little too personal? Lana sits in front of a mirror, staring at the image of her little beige space baby. Lex comes in holding two champagne glasses, and suggests that they end the evening with a toast. I hope they got at least one toaster at their wedding. He says it's been one week since their wedding, and offers Lana some baby-safe sparkling cider. He says it's not the same as celebrating on the beach at Boquete. Lana, wearing a very unmaternal black outfit, says that she still doesn't think flying off to a foreign country would be good for the baby. Lex, unconvinced, twitches at the mouth and asks if that's the only reason she gave up a week in paradise. She nervously touches the champagne glass. Lex says that, ever since the wedding, he feels she's been pulling away from him. BOOO-RING! Let's go back to giant thugs beating the shit out of each other! Lana complains that everything happened too quickly. It sure didn't feel that way from this side of the TV. The soft-focus lighting in this scene is a bit much. Even Streisand is like, "You people are too self-conscious." Lana says that she's still trying to catch up, and that she just needs a little time. Lex sighs. He tells her to take as much time as she needs, and threatens that they have the rest of their lives together. Lex tries to kiss Lana, but she gives him the cheek. Dude! It's divorce time. Lex pulls away. Lana fake-smiles at him. Lex says that he feels things will be different once the baby is born. Yeah, you'll be having tons more sex after that. Keep hoping, bald man. Lana doesn't say anything. Lex toasts to their new family. Sans the crispy toast. They clink glasses. Lana drinks first. Lex pauses, and then takes a sip. Very over-the-top strings play. We get it. This is a soap opera. Can we get back to some ultimate fighting?

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP