Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Club Dead

Commercials. Disney has a new animated movie coming out, and as cynical as I may appear to be, I am only human and cannot resist a funny T-rex.

Smallville Medical Center. It's foggy outside. Inside, Lana is in a dark room with a ceiling fan going. Oh, these balmy Vancouver nights. The camera slowly zooms in on her face. Lana, sleeping, wrinkles her nose as she wakes up. She stares at the ceiling fan. Then she turns to see Lex through the room's window, talking to a doctor we remember from Belle Reve. Lana makes a grunting face as she moves the covers and tries to get out of bed. She's hooked up to absolutely nothing, but knocks a metal pan off a bedside table, attracting Lex's attention. Pale-faced and shaky, Lana says, "Lex!" Lex goes to her as the doctor tells "Mrs. Luthor" that she shouldn't get out of bed. I can't get out of my head the head lice from South Park and the main hero louse talking about his "Bebe." "KELLY!" Lex tells Lana that she passed out, and that they brought her to the hospital. She asks about Dr. Langston, and whether her baby is all right. Lex says that the doctor didn't return his page, so Lex called his family doctor, Dr. Albright. Albright says that Lana will be fine. Lana asks again if the baby is all right. Vangelis-sounding synthesizer music plays as Lex gives the doctor a look and asks her to give them a minute. She leaves the room. There's thunder on the soundtrack as Lex sits Lana down. He strokes her hair: "Lana, there were complications." Lana begins to cry. "We lost the baby," says Lex. "No!" she sputters, "no!" Lana breaks down convincingly. Lex puts his forehead to hers as she bares her teeth, letting it all out. Lex looks a little scared as Lana clutches him and completely loses it. The doctor watches sneakily from the doorway. As the Smallville turns...

Belle Reve. The place, with its two big searchlights, is looking more like a prison every time we see it. Maddox, whose picture we saw earlier, comes out of a smoky back exit from the sanitarium. He's trying to open the door of his white SUV when Clark suddenly appears. It's funny when they use villainous music to reveal Clark. Clark makes a Blue Steel frowny face at the doctor, all, "I'm evil, man! You don't want to mess with this pissed-off farmboy!" The slimy Maddox, relieved, says, "You scared me!" He doesn't recognize Clark? He asks where Clark came from. Clark says that the guy wouldn't believe him if he told him. Maddox says that he's had a long day, and that if Clark wants to check in, he can go to the main lobby. Clark says that he wants to fight. "What did I do to you?" Maddox asks him. Clark says that he wants to be in the dude's fight club. Maddox feigns ignorance. Clark grabs him and shoves him up against the SUV. He says he knows about the fight club. He saw it on DVD. Clark knows it's not just patients from Belle Reve: "I want in." Come right in, sexy boy! Maddox struggles and says that the only place he can get Clark into is a psychiatric facility. He says that Clark is a sick person and needs help. This, we know. Maddox says that if Clark's not looking for treatment, he'd better back off. Clark throws Maddox onto the hood of a nearby car. Maddox rolls off. He whips out a gun and points it at Clark. "You're barkin' at the wrong dog, Jethro!" says Maddox. It's kind of hilarious. This guy's really trying to make the most out of a thankless guest role. He tells Clark to put his tail between his legs and get lost. Clark says he won't until they let him in the cage. He steps forward. Maddox fires the gun. Clark holds out a fist. He's got the bullet in his hand. He shows it to Maddox. Maddox tentatively steps forward and takes the bullet. His mouth hangs open. "Yeah!" he says, suddenly laughing. He says that Clark is just full of surprises. Hey! Maddox is the announcer! I feel dumb for not noticing earlier. Maddox says he thought that with Clark's "pretty face," he'd never gone a round in his life. Oh, he goes twelve rounds with the right guy. Clark says that Maddox hasn't seen anything yet. Maddox says he can see it in Clark's eyes: he's got some fight in him. "Welcome to the show," he says. Clark shakes his hand. Maddox turns it into a bro-shake, grinning at Clark and winking. Greasy!

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