Smallville
Commencement

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A Meteor Sandwich

Kent Farm. The Kents, with their Beverly Hillbillies pile of crap, are leaving. They're stopped by a blue truck that brakes right in front of them. Oh. Dude! It's Jason! And he's hilariously bloodied up. He's not quite dead yet! MamaKent, Bo, and Shelby get out of the truck to help. He pulls out a shotgun and points it at them in response. Shelby barks. "I'm having what you'd call a rough day," Jason says. Bo tells him, "Calm down, son." Jason asks for Clark. Bo looks at MamaKent. He says that Clark's not there. Shelby growls. Jason shoots out a truck window. I really thought he was going to plug the dog. Percussion instruments play. Jason winces. We go to commercials.

Kicking And Screaming. That makes two too many movies for you this year, Will Ferrell. We'll see about Bewitched.

The countdown is back. Still about fourteen minutes. We see the "Meteor capital of the world" billboard next to a traffic jam. That sign's not so cute now, is it, Smallville? This is the smallest traffic jam I've ever seen. Everybody's honking on a two-lane road. Chloe and Lois are heading in the direction opposite traffic, toward Lex's place. Lois asks why Lana would be there. Chloe says she's not sure, but she swears she heard Lex's voice in the background during their phone conversation. Chloe thinks she's in trouble. They're stopped by an Army dude just as Lois is telling Chloe that they're not going to get to Lex's without a jet pack. Chloe tries to explain about their friend. The Army guard is not impressed. Lois gets a determined (and gassy) look in her eye. She starts barking out orders to the soldier about how crappy his barricade is. It's really, really stupid. She invokes the name of her father, the general. Lois keeps berating the poor guy while Chloe sneaks out of the car and toward Lex's.

Meteor's-eye view of the Earth. I'm not sure you can see individual waves from space, guys.

Caves. Clark returns with the second artifact.

Lex at home. He finds Papa Luthor having a few drinks and asks him where his survival instincts are. Lex says that fire and brimstone (nice John Glover reference there) are about to rain down, and Papa's drinking like it's the country club. Papa says he's making sure his son is all right. Lex thinks it's really about making sure the element is here. Lex lies that he hasn't even seen Lana Lang. He thinks she's halfway to Costa Rica by now. Papa Luthor says that a face like Lana Lang's isn't easy to hide; he's sure some Customs official will spot her. Lex looks at Papa Luthor angrily as Papa takes another drink.

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Smallville

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