Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
Ice to See You

Party zone. Much drinking. Much ignoring of missing football player.

Back under the surface. Dramatic music plays. StudShawn struggles, but pretty soon he stops and sinks. We see an odd green glow (a familiar glow, you might say) as his body, then at last his outstretched hand, sinks.

Above the ice. The cheap football sits there, iced over, stuck to the lake. We pan back from it, looking down from up high. Pause. STUDSHAWN HAND! It breaks through the ice with almost none of the same impact that Carrie had so many years ago, but who cares? It's The WB.

I don't know why, but it's hours later. Somebody's walking toward the remains of the party, where absolutely nobody noticed that StudShawn was missing. A small fire has been left still burning, also a no-no in outdoor keg party situations. StudShawn -- who is very, very blue -- goes to the fire and warms his hands. They fade from blue to pasty white. He bends down, shivering, hands still over the fire. StudShawn closes his eyes and inhales, and we see a weird wave from the fire to his mouth. We hear the crackling of newfound superpowers. StudShawn's complexion turns back to normal. He smiles and gets up, looking around in wonder. He looks down at the fire, perplexed, then walks off, because in this town perplexity only lasts to the commercial break. As he walks off, we pan down and see that the already meager campfire is now just a bunch of ice crystals. He is no longer StudShawn. This cold, Popsicle beast is now ShawnPop.

Theme song. Remy Zero. Coming soon to a hastily compiled show soundtrack near you.

The Yellow Kent House. Why isn't it blue or red? An American flag is hanging near the door. Inside, in the conference kitchen, MamaKent and Bo Duke are calculating their expenses and their mortgage rate, which is 8.25%. You guys totally need to refinance. Rosycheeks Clark interrupts them by spitting out a figure in the $50,000 range. Wait, I know he's got superpowers, but he's also a math savant? It's not fair! Rosycheeks is told by Bo Duke that they didn't mean for him to hear about their financial troubles. He throws Rosycheeks a plain Pop-Tart. MamaKent, still fiddling with her calculator, says that they may need to take out another loan. Rosycheeks says that the interest alone would bury them. He's an economics scholar, too? I give up. He's too super for this world. Rosycheeks says that he wants to help. Bo Duke tells him he already saved them having to hire four farmhands. Rosycheeks Clark jokes that he could join a pro sports team and make tons of money in endorsements. The parentals look at him as if he's gone bonkers. What's wrong with that idea? He smiles and says he's just trying to lighten the mood. MamaKent says she just wants her son to get to school on time. He grabs his coat and whooshes out in a blur. Then he rushes back in, blur-style, to get his Pop-Tart just as it leaps from the toaster. He spits out another dollar figure before MamaKent tells him to "go!" I swear. They'll let him blur-speed around the house, but he can't do people's taxes for a little extra money?

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