Papa Luthor sits in his new all-white abode. "What is this?" Clark asks, holding the key that was sent to him. If it were a much larger key, Clark, I'd say you might be the honorary mayor of Smallville. We get a tight close-up on Papa Luthor, leaning forward. Papa Luthor says it's a key, but not the one they're both looking for. Clark threatens to leave if Papa Luthor is just going to play games. Papa Luthor says he knows Clark is on the prosecution's witness list. Papa says he imagines that Clark has bought into Lex's view of their "Oedipal struggle. I am a poor misguided etcetera etcetera," Papa Luthor says. Clark calls Papa Luthor a murderer. Hee. Papa Luthor says he didn't kill his parents. He says Clark has no idea what it's like to grow up under the thumb of an abusive father. "Your son does," Clark tells him. "Lex is an expert by now." Papa Luthor says that Lex is a liar. Papa Luthor tells Clark that the key opens a room in the mansion's third floor, east wing. He says that Clark will be fascinated by what he finds. Clark says he's not going to walk into a trap. "Clark," Papa Luthor whispers, "I don't want to harm you. I want to enlighten you." He tells Clark that there'll be answers he won't believe. Clark looks down at the key. Papa Luthor smirks. Commercials.

For the next few months, I'm hoping only to see Lana as an actress doing Neutrogena commercials.

Stately Luthor Manor. Clark took the bait. He opens the mansion door with the key and walks in. Sconces. Weirdly lit steps. But most importantly? A huge, goofy photo of Clark projected on a huge screen. I guess Lex doesn't believe in screensavers. Clark looks around at the Gayest Room of the Episode, a shrine to Clark and Lex's fabulous times together. Clark notices some bullets hanging from wire -- bullets that at various times tried unsuccessfully to kill him. A smaller screen displays a rotating image of the octagonal key. Lex really needs to get some security up in his house. Clark examines another screen, this one with the old wireframe animation of the fateful car accident where our two young bucks first met. Clark stares at it in horror. Then, the thing Clark should have noticed when he walked in: a big chunk of glowing Kryptonite sits in a glass display container. Clark looks queasy and moves to leave the room. He runs into Lex, standing at the doorway. "Before you jump to conclusions," Lex begins, but Clark is angry that Lex didn't stop investigating him. Lex says he did stop. "I understand how you could think all this is about you," Lex says as he glides down the stairs. What would make Clark think that? The hundred-inch plasma display with his photo on it? Lex says it's about himself. "More lies," says Clark. Lex ignores that and says that there's a lot of his life that he can't explain. He thinks he's unbreakable, given the number of brushes he's had with death. Clark says it all started with the car crash. But really, it started with his surviving the meteor shower. Lex says that he's inherited his father's curiosity for the unexplained. "You've inherited his dishonesty," Clark growls. Lex strides to Clark and asks him if he's got any hidden places of his own where he keeps deep, dark secrets. Can he search them? Are they pockets? Clark, the dick, changes tack. He tells Lex that he's been sticking up for Lex and making excuses for him since Day One. He's been telling people that Lex is nothing like Papa Luthor. "I was wrong," Clark says, and leaves. There's surprisingly little homoerotic heat in this exchange. Lex calls after Clark, but the thrill is gone. Clark slams the door. Lex looks a little hurt.