Al Gough: So, uh, Miles. Just wanted to let you know that you don't need to fly out for shooting this week. We've got it covered.
Miles Millar: Oh, well, that's very nice of you, Al. I was planning to head out to -- hey, wait a minute! You're shooting that nudie blonde alien scene this week, aren't you?!
AG: What nudie blonde alien scene?
MM: Don't play dumb with me, Gough.
AG: You can call me "Al."
MM: I do. What, just now? I was coughing.
AG: No you weren't. You said "Gough."
MM: That's how I cough now.
MM: Only for the last three years. I think it means I love you.
AG: Well I love you, too. That's why I'm saving you a seat front and center tomorrow for filming.
MM: Make sure she's extra-nubile!
Nubile Nature Girl approaches the American-flag-adorned Kent Farm home. She knocks on the window panel. Let me get this straight: homegirl doesn't know what hot tea is, but she knows to knock on a door to get somebody's attention? Clark answers the door. He looks down and sees breasteses. He thinks, "I thought a Strip-O-Gram came with the stripping." A very clever if filthy line here would be "I'd ask if you came to borrow a cup of milk, but it looks like you brought your own." "Hello, Clark," the girl says, with nary a trace of an accent (nor of acting ability), "My name is Kara. I'm from Krypton." Clark is speechless. He's got his mind on mammaries and mammaries on his mind.
Opening credits. Sam Jones III alert. This is officially the last time you'll see him on the show. (Unless he guest-stars.)
This week's Nude Girl guest star is named "Adrianne Palicki." She's been through enough with that name, so let's not be too hard on her, all right? Kent living room. Nude Girl is now Flannel Shirt Girl. Clark is leaning forward, talking with her the way you would a pushy insurance agent. He tells her he doesn't know where she heard about Krypton -- maybe on one of those crazy internet message boards or something -- but that he heard the planet was destroyed. She says that the physical planet was destroyed, but that it still lives on through them. Kind of like Square Pegs lives on through us. MamaKent comes from the kitchen and serves a hot cup of tea. She tells Kara that it'll warm her up. Kara looks at the tea and saucer as if they're an intriguing new breed of puppy. MamaKent explains hot tea. Kara nods politely and puts the crappy tea down without drinking it. Bo, all piss and skepticism, bellows that he'd like to call Kara's parents, and says he's sure they're worried about her. Kara says there's no one to call. MamaKent offers to let her stay with them for the night. Kara thanks her and says she heard MamaKent was very kind. She also heard that Bo Duke's platitudes were a sure-fire cure for insomnia. Clark asks how she got there. Through the front door, silly! And through a passage in a cave wall. "A passage from where?" Clark asks. She says it's a place where all his questions will be answered. Where he doesn't have to hide his true self. Fire Island? Bo pisses on the parade (sinking all the floats) by asking for a demonstration of her powers to prove she's who she says. Kara tries to look at Bo with disdain, but instead looks like she heard a cat jump on a stack of newspapers. "Dad!" Clark says. "Clark!" Bo shoots back. "Dr. Scott!" "Janet!" "Brad!" "Rocky!" "Bullwinkle!" Bo brings up Pete's harassment at the hands of the FBI (actually, just one rogue agent) and wonders if this isn't some other sort of ploy. Flannel Nudist Kara looks up as if she has a fly on her forehead. She gets Acting 101 mad: "Jonathan Kent. You have no place in this conversation!" She sort of emotes. Sort of. She says she'll show "Kal-El" all he needs to see in due time. Clark wonders how she got his name. It was given to him at birth, she says. A name? At birth?! This girl is psychic! The sustained musical note of faux mystery and tension continues as Clark asks why she's here. She takes his hands and says, "To take you home." And she's not gonna let him go till he sees the light.