Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A- | 541 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Constant Craving

Hamilton's lair. Lex walks in. "Back for more rocks?" Hamilton asks. Lex says he has a clean bill of health. And then, much like he did in his encounter with the wayward reporter, Lex puts the screws to this guy. Turns out Hamilton got kicked out of the university for getting a little too close to a student. "I wonder if the Smallville police have you registered," Lex asks. Suddenly, Hamilton looks interested. "Get out," Hamilton says. Lex hands him an envelope. "I don't believe in the past. I believe in the power to reinvent yourself," Lex tells him. Lex says he believes in vindication. In the envelope: a check for $100,000. "What you're looking for…could take years," Hamilton says. Lex leans in: "I'm a patient man." Hamilton asks why a billionaire's son is so interested in some rocks from the sky. "I save that story for the people I trust," Lex says. Clark? Are your ears burning? This scene was a thick, juicy burger with lots of ketchup.

Lana's house. Clark lamely tries to hit her window with some pebbles without knocking the damn structure down. Lana answers, but not before Enrique Iglesias sings in his little tiny quavering voice about asking a girl to dance. "Kinda missed cocktail hour," Lana says. Clark apologizes. "I told you I stopped believing in happy birthdays a long time ago," she says. Clark says he knows he blew it, but wants to give her a present. "When?" she asks. Clark smiles. "Now." In spite of herself, Lana smiles. Pure taffy.

A movie projector is rolling. Clark and Lana are in the front seat of a car, eating popcorn and drinking sodas from actual movie soda cups. "Lana?" Clark asks. She looks to him. "Happy birthday," he tells her. She shushes him. They're both giggly. We pan back to show Lana and Clark in a blue truck, watching a movie projected on a sheet on the side of the barn. It's a Bugs Bunny cartoon. It ends, and the Warner Bros. "That's All Folks" synergizes us out of the episode. "I…can be…your hero," Enrique warbles, playing us out. It's that "Hero" song. Man, all these playful elements. I just can't take it all. This is a sweet, but ultimately tummy-ache inducing, cheese Danish.

Next week: A rerun. But we'll soon see more kryptonite villains. You can bet on it.

Smallville

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