Stock footage shot of Smallville High. Take that damn "Fly to Victory" banner down already. Ha! Lex is in the offices of The Torch, looking at a news clipping of a man holding a two-foot carrot. He's practically licking the newsprint, he's so close to it. "Most of my friends are trying to get out of high school," we hear Clark say from behind. He's trying to be charming like Lex, but clearly it's not working. Okay, slash fans: Set your phasers to "Gay." Lex turns around, smiling, of course. He says he wants to pitch in a computer lab to the school. He's standing next to the Wall of Weird. "They might even name a lunch special after you," Clark jokes. The question you have to ask yourself, Clark, is would you eat it? Clark asks why Lex is around. He says he's always hearing about his plant manager Gabe's daughter, the reporter for the newspaper, and our beloved flippy-haired girl, Chloe. Lex says he's intrigued by the Wall, and Clark moseys right on over, because he might be losing Lex's affection to an inanimate collection of news and photos. He explains Chloe's theory that everything weird in the town started with the meteor shower. "Interesting theory," Lex says. Lex asks if Clark remembers where he was during the meteor storm. Clark says he doesn't, because he wasn't adopted yet. Not really a lie, when you think about it. Lex explains about his helicopter ride and how he was out in a field and didn't remember anything until he was in the hospital, completely bald. Man, Lex could be reading a list of his least favorite insects and I'd still be hanging on his every word. Lex says he doesn't tell many people that story, and that he walked away from death. "I'm sorry," Clark lames. "It's not your fault," Lex says. This is like the fifth person to tell Clark that. Stop apologizing, ya superwuss! Lex says that when he was younger, kids thought he was a freak or on chemo. But over time, he saw his baldness as a blessing, a sign of power and definition. And virility. Don't forget the virility. Lex tells Clark that he thinks his future will be brighter than the rich spoiled brat that walked into the cornfield. Clark smiles at Lex. Awwww. Chloe walks in, interrupting, and calls him "Mr. Luthor." He asks her to call him Lex, shakes her hand, and brings up her meteor theory. Lex asks if anyone else shares her idea. She says Dr. Hamilton does, but Clark points out that this Dr. Hamilton, whom we haven't met yet, also sells plastic meteor chips to tourists. Lex tells Chloe to call when she wants a summer job. He's got friends (one blackmailed friend, at least) at the Inquisitor newspaper. "I'll see you tomorrow," Lex tells Clark, giving him a lecherous up-and-down look. Lex says he heard that Clark is escorting Lana. "We're just going as friends," Clark says for the billionth time. Lex wishes him luck and hopes he got her a good gift. "Yeah," Clark says under his breath, clearly under pressure to deliver the goods. Summer sausage taste.