Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Constant Craving

House of Lana. Inside, Nasty Nell and some lady pass by a vase of sunflowers, just like the ones Lex killed in last week's episode. The woman is a party planner, and she asks Nell what she thinks of a three-tiered birthday cake. Good Lord. Somebody call Lorelai Gilmore. Lana is sitting with Clark, The Anti-Fat, at a table. She thanks him for the lifeline. Wow, that would have been a nice cultural reference two years ago. Clark says it's just a midterm; he didn't pull her out of a burning building. I smell something burning, all right: Roasted cheese. Nasty Nell interrupts them, asking what kind of balloons Lana would like. Nell suggests white, just like the one she's holding in her hand, pre-inflated. Lana "whatevers" her, and she and Clark bolt from the house. It's revealed that the party will be at Stately Luthor Manor. Lana complains (because that's what she's here for) that the party isn't really hers anymore. As usual, Nell is being painted to look like an ogre. Just then, Jock Whitney pulls up in his 54th truck, and avoids wrecking it this time. He gets out and tells Lana he's getting to try out for Kansas State's football team. He says he may not go because it conflicts with Lana's big party. She tells him it's not important, and even has Clark back her up that they were just talking about that. "Scout's honor," says Clark, lamely. Jocko and Lana kiss. Clark rolls his eyes around his superhead and says, "I'll catch up with you guys later." He gets ignored like the wuss that he is. The scene was green, envious sprouts doused in butter.

At school. Chloe, Clark, and Sneaky Pete are walking, and Pete tells Clark that this is the perfect opportunity to make his move -- as Lana's escort to her own party. "Hi Pete!" we hear, and it's Cellulita, minus the neck. Pete can't believe his eyes. "You look…" he begins. "Thinner?" she finishes. Yeah. And she's wearing quite the tight top, too. Clark asks if she's okay. "My diet's just started to pay off," she says. She tells them she bought some new clothes. She thanks Pete for sticking up for her the day before. Then Cellulita asks if Pete has a date for Lana's party. Pete just stands there, smiling. He can't believe The WB is letting him go on a date. Clark pokes Pete in the back and says, "No, he's still free." Cellulita asks Pete if he'd like to go with her. Pete smiles even bigger and it's amazingly adorable, but he still can't speak. Clark pokes him in the back. "He'd love to," Clark says. Yeah, Clark's pretty smooth when it's not Lex or Lana involved. Cellulita, pleased, takes off. Pete turns around, totally agog. "I don't get it!" Chloe says. Pete looks hard and defensive for a moment. "Women dig me," he says, "Get used to it." That was super-cute, I will admit. "No, it looks like she lost all that weight overnight," Chloe says. Clark smiles and says something lame about half the school wanting that secret if it were true. Clark, Cellulita is the first non-anorexic person I've seen on this show. Just what are you babbling about? The scene was a sweet peanut butter truffle with a bad aftertaste at the end.

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