Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Constant Craving

Chloe and Clark in the lunchroom. Chloe called the hospital -- MeanDustin went into shock from the loss of fat. But they hooked him up to a Ben & Jerry's Machine. Chloe tells Clark that if he hadn't been there, the mean boy would have died. Nobody seems too broken up about that idea. Clark can't figure out why someone would steal body fat. "It takes eating disorders to a whole new level," Chloe says. They come upon skinny Cellulita, who is totally chowing down on her lunch. Quite rudely, Chloe and Clark stare at her until she's so embarrassed that she gets up to leave. That's the problem right there, not her kryptonite shakes. Clark, by the way, drinks his carton of milk through a straw. That's just wrong. After Cellulita leaves, Chloe asks, "What was that about?" Clark doesn't know, but he realizes he's late to meet Lana. "I gotta fly," he says. Jeez. He says he's figured out Lana's gift and it's not a gift certificate. Chloe takes one of Cellulita's snacks after Clark leaves. This scene was a baked potato with extra hammy bacon.

Stately Luthor Manor. Balloons and decorations are being put up. Lex walks up to Lana, who's leaning over a rail upstairs, and asks what she thinks. They agree the party is not her at all. Lex asks about Jocko. Lana explains that someone fell out of the try-outs for K State, leaving an opening. "I know," Lex says mysteriously. He gives Lana a look. "Your aunt told me!" he explains. Uh huh. "I like your new escort better," Lex says, his smoldering eyes at half mast. Is it? Could it be? Ah yes. It is The Gayest Look Of The Episode. Lex stops just short of saying that Clark is "FAB-ulous!" Lex tells Lana to have fun at the party. This scene was entirely for the purposes of Lex marking his territory and making sure Lana knows not to get too attached to his man. Food for this scene? Clearly, a kielbasa.

House of Kent. Clark is rushing downstairs, waiting for MamaKent to iron his blue shirt. She tells him to relax. For once, he won't be late. She asks about Clark's gift for Lana. He says he had help from Lex, but won't reveal his bounty. MamaKent scoffs and says he'd better learn how to iron. Can't he just use steam breath or something? Chloe walks in. She says she has something for Clark to look at. "Why aren't you dressed?" he asks her. Ouch. She does have clothes on. I guess Clark knows more about high fashion than she does. Chloe shows a slip of paper for repairs to a car -- Cellulita's accident with the deer. Chloe spells it all out for Clark until they both make all the connections elementary-my-dear-Watson-style and realize -- PETE! He's in danger! This scene is definitely fast food, probably a bean and cheese burrito.

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