Is it just me, or do you have the midseason blahs too? Blah. Blah. Blah. Repeat for 8,000 more words.
Someone threw up all over the inside of The Talon, and they must have been eating cotton candy, because it's all pink. We open on a small cherub statue, then we pan across to see frilly, gauzy tubes hanging from the ceiling, star-shaped lights and bubbles. A banner in the background reads, "happy valentine's day." Hey, the banner committee found work after high school! I'm so glad they're not resting on their laurels. Soft alt-rock plays as Chloe and Clark walk in. A guy spins a girl as people dance. "Chloe, what the hell is this?" asks Clark, clearly perturbed. Like there surely wasn't a huge announcement on the marquee outside: "Get your pink latte and kiss! It's V-day!" This sadly confirms what I have long suspected: Clark is functionally illiterate. He probably thought the sign said something about movie night. Clark says he thought they were coming in to get a coffee: "How could you do this to me?" Chloe swears she didn't know, and says she's sorry. Why is she apologizing for The Talon having a Valentine's Day party? It's taken me six seasons, but I think I'm realizing that Chloe and Clark may not have the healthiest friendship. Clark turns to go (why not at super speed?), but Chloe stops him, saying that he's not going to hide in the barn for the rest of his life. Emotionally, yes. Physically, not so much. As the camera has fun following them in circles, Clark reminds Chloe about what she usually says regarding the holiday: that it's the annual peek into Hell. For her, it usually is. Clark says, with more bitterness than is probably necessary, that this was before Chloe got struck by Cupid's arrow. Chloe says that she's been trapped in a front-row seat to the Clark/Lana operetta, and asks if she doesn't finally deserve a good V-Day. And she actually says "V-Day." Clark says that Chloe is the only person who can make him feel guilty, relieved, and sad all in the same sentence. It's called acting! Seriously, though, this can't be healthy, guys. Bubbles fly. Chloe says her ability to evoke those emotions in Clark is a gift. With residuals. Chloe assures Clark that his "achy-breaky heart" will go away one of these days. After the seventh season. Clark, deadpan, asks if Chloe can put that in writing. Why would you want that in writing? Chloe tells Clark to give the Lana thing a little more time, and that the next love of his life could be just around the corner.