Smallville
Crimson

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
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'Ships Of Fools

Just then, the camera loses focus on Chloe (typical) and aims at the entrance, where Lois walks in, Jimmy right behind her. Jimmy is going to be the love of Clark's life!? Oh. Lois. Right. Shit. Lois -- wearing some sort of strange half-trenchcoat tied at the waist -- stops, surveys the scene, and asks if it's normal that she wants all the cherubs to burst into flames. No, it's fine, just don't have any babies, I'm begging you. Jimmy nods his head a little strangely, and then takes Lois's arm while he explains that it's a bit like finding out how babies are born. Fucking? "What?" Lois asks, as confused as I am. Jimmy asks her to stay with him. He explains, a little too enthusiastically, that it all seems so confusing and weird, but when that bomb hits (love bomb...look out below! BOOM! Sperm shrapnel!), everything just falls into place and it makes sense. Jimmy loves to get laid, people. Take note. Lois shakes her head a tiny bit, signifying that all Jimmy's blather makes as little sense to her as it does to us. Jimmy approaches Chloe and gives her a little kiss. Clark looks away and grimaces like it's the most annoying thing in the world. Oh, grow the fuck up, Clark. A woman in a full angel costume, including halo and wings, walks by. Amazingly, it's not Lana. Chloe greets Jimmy. Then she adds, "...and Lois!" She's surprised. Sardonically, Clark says, "Welcome to the lovefest." Lois complains that she's without her Uzi. Chloe excuses herself, and takes Jimmy away to ask what the hell he's doing. She says that they were supposed to take Clark out. Like that wouldn't be a horrible night. Jimmy says that Lois was all alone, and then it hit him: "Lois and Clark," he says with wonder. He nods, smiling. "Lois and Clark?" Chloe asks. Ack. Jeez. We get it. Jimmy says that they've got chemistry. "So do nitroglycerine and peroxide," says Chloe. She doesn't suggest putting them together. Chloe leads Jimmy to the counter to get some coffee. Clark and Lois stand side by side, trying to outcool each other. Clark gives her a weird look, and then dismisses his own thought. Lois does the same. Lois realizes that they were just set up. Clark agrees. "That's like hot fudge...and halibut," says Lois. How old is Lois? What person in their early twenties uses the word "halibut" in normal conversation? Clark guesses that he's the halibut. "Naturally," says Lois. Clark decides that he's had his fill of fat babies with arrows and stupid women calling him fish. He tells Lois to knock herself out.

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Smallville

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