Smallville
Crisis

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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El Futuro

Stately Luthor Manor the next morning. Cage Match is putting Lex into a pair of handcuffs. Usually that happens at the beginning of the night, not at AM waffle time, in Lex's house. As they're leading Lex out, two guys in suits walk in flashing their own badges. It's the FBI. They tell Cage and his men to hit the showers. "This case has been bumped up to varsity," the snotty FBI guy says. Cage is like, "Aw, man, again? I hate the showers!" He takes off Lex's handcuffs. Lex really seemed to enjoy that. The cops leave. "This better be important," the main FBI guy says, seemingly summoned like a lap dog by Lex. Apparently, Lex's lawyer hooked him up with these guys. Lex says he wants to make a deal. Lex says that as flattered as he is with all the attention, he's only a consolation prize. He offers the FBI the biggest arrest of his career if he's given immunity. Lex gulps before he says it: "I'll help you bring down my father," he says very, very seriously.

Papa Luthor's building. He's talking to an Indian dude in the hallway about research. The man is intrigued. He asks what happened to Papa Luthor's last project manager. "She, uh, moved on," Papa says. They make it to Papa Luthor's office. He tells the researcher that he'll spare no expense on the project. "You on board?" he asks. This guy, Dr. Bergin, says that with as little serum as is left, there's barely enough for one round of trials. Papa Luthor chuckles and says that's why he's counting on results the first time out. Bergin offers to have a lab ready and trials underway in a year. Papa Luthor says he doesn't have a year. He wants it up and running by the end of the week. "I have been, uh, diagnosed with a rather unique liver disease," Papa Luthor says, haltingly. He says he's out of options. This is a serious, serious bummer.

A book: Theories of Time Travel. I have one: it makes for sub-par episodes. Lana, wearing hideous green eyeshadow, is frowning. She's at The Talon. Sappy music is playing. The eyeshadow matches her ugly green shirt. I never thought I'd miss her in pink. Clark walks in and asks if she's having any luck. Lana says she got lost at the first wormhole. We can only wish. Clark reassures her: scientists are still debating Einstein's theories of time travel. He doesn't think they'll crack it in one night. They can barely crack basic arithmetic. Lana tells Clark there's something she doesn't understand. How did he make it from the youth center to the warehouse in a split-second? Clark goes into freakin' liar mode and says it took him more than a few seconds. Clark says that maybe it had something to do with the weird time anomaly. In his ass as he pulls out lies. Clark has his own question: why did she call the youth center instead of the police? Lana says she called because she knew Clark would be there. Lana's not very smart. "Looks like we cheated fate," she says. I'd say it was more "the viewers" than "fate." "Barely," says Clark. Clark says he was afraid he wouldn't get to her in time. Lana says she spent the last twenty-four hours terrified of what happened, but hey, no biggie. She says she makes most decisions because she's afraid of how she'll end up. Clark says they both do that. "Maybe it's time to stop being so afraid," Lana says. She says she always thought her life was mapped out, but maybe they have more control over the future than they think. You know what, Lana? Nobody in particular gives a shit. Clark thinks about Lana's diarrhea of the mouth. For hours. Lana walks off without excusing herself. Clark watches her as she goes. Now he can raid the cappuccino machine.

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