Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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Kneel Before Tess

Daily Planet basement, dawn. Clark wanders through the office, frowning at several sheets of paper in his hands. Reading is hard! "Hey!" a friendly voice greets him from off-screen. He looks up to see Chloe coming down the stairs toward him. She's wearing a cute green ensemble and a long gold and green necklace that I covet. Chloe asks if Lois got the job. "Yeah, and so did I," Clark says, because apparently he has time to be on TV every day even though he didn't even have time to watch a movie last week. Chloe lets out a little incredulous laugh. "So, what's your first story?" she asks, not at all concealing how funny she thinks this all is. "Online dating," he grumps. They're supposed to set up dates through the Internet and then talk about them on the show. Clark and Chloe walk through the office, Chloe near laughter the whole time. She teases that it's his "bravest move yet" to take a TV job just to get back into Lois's "good graces." I don't think that's all he wants to get into. He thinks it's more important that he track down the Kandorians. Chloe tells us about a much better and more expensive show where Clark has been going all over the globe searching for the alien symbols, but by the time he got to each symbol the Kandorians were long gone. Clark thinks he should keep looking, but Chloe thinks they should look closer to home because Tess has been reinforcing her computer firewalls and cutting security video feeds. "Now, given her attraction to all things alien..." Chloe trails off. Clark concludes: "You think she's building her own Area 51." Chloe plans to use Watchtower to find out more. Clark wants to help, but Chloe convinces him to focus on tonight's goofy "A" plot while she handles one of the more interesting stories. Chloe leaves and Clark goes back to focusing on his papers.

As Clark wanders through the office, the tinkly music of silly, dewy-eyed romance starts playing again so you know Lois is about to show up. And there she is, sitting at her computer as Clark drops his papers onto her desk. She asks, "What are these?" He says they're the release forms the TV station wants them to sign before their dates. She protests she hasn't even found a date yet. She says she's still filling out the online dating profile and carefully choosing just the right words to use. Too bad you're not a trained writer, or anything. Things would go so much quicker. "I filled mine out in ten minutes," he says, looking more and more worried by the second. Lois snarks that that'll be the only "10" he gets out of it. Clark smirks and goes to check out her profile. Reading over her shoulder, he notices that Lois is stretching the truth a bit. Instead of saying she likes movie theaters, the profile says she likes "the theatre." Instead of a six-pack, it says she likes "bubbly." Lois glances in the general direction of Clark's abs and says she does like a six-pack... but Clark doesn't notice the compliment. He does notice, though, that there's nothing in Lois's profile about her love of monster trucks. Lois thinks that's not something that would attract the kind of guy who would "impress the home viewers." Clark tries to reassure her that she has lots of good qualities that would attract a man, but when she presses him to name them, he comes up blank. Ha! She narrows her eyes at him and continues to wait. He finally stammers out, "Well, you're Lois!" Seriously, you couldn't even come up with the fact that she's pretty? Even I could come up with that and I don't especially like her! Lois is about as impressed as I am. She sarcastically wishes him good luck with his date: "I'm sure you'll sweep her off her feet." Clark looks like he had kryptonite Wheaties for breakfast. The tinkly music finishes with a cheerful flourish.

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Smallville

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