Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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Kneel Before Tess

Luthor mansion. Oh, yay! The awesome alien intrigue story is back. All Tess's guests have gone, save one Mr. Zod. "You're welcome," he says. "I didn't thank you," she reminds him. She looks like she's mentally undressing him. Oh, wait... that's what I'm doing. Tess actually looks like she's mentally stabbing him to death. Zod thinks she should be thanking him because his people's "highly evolved intelligence" will now be making LuthorCorp the most technologically advance company on Earth. "The question is, what do you want?" she asks. "Someone who betrayed us," he says, looking genuinely hurt. "The one you call the Blur," he says. (Remember, he thinks Jor-El is the Blur because of Clark's stupid flaming family crest being everywhere.) Tess turns away from him and crosses the room so he can't read her expression. She lies that she's flattered he would think she knows how to find the Blur. He makes a purring sound of warning and follows her. "You disappoint me," he says, "but I'll play your game." Tess drinks from a blue water bottle like Lex used to. Aw. I miss old school Lex. Zod comes up very close behind her and explains with more than a little menace about the Blur's blood being used to cure that virus a while back. "We took a sample to the lab to be tested --" Here he taps her on the rump to get her to face him. "-- and instead, every last drop had been destroyed... at your request." She feigns ignorance, but the look in her eyes is challenging. He thinks Tess's destruction of the sample means she's either protecting the Blur or trying to use him as a bargaining chip. Tess gives him a sly smile and saunters past him. She reminds him she freed his people because she thought they would save humanity. "The only way I can make sure that happens is if we're equal partners," she says. Zod looks like she just asked him to make out with a goat. "No human will ever stand on equal footing with a Kandorian," he says, his voice dripping with hate. He takes as leave, stopping to chat with the Billy Zane guard outside the room. "Make her tell you where the Blur is," Zod says, "or kill her." "Yes, Major," the guard replies. Fantastic.

LuthorCorp building. Oliver's in his office, shirtless, sweaty, and toweling himself off. Very nice. Lois breezes in, getting her silly "A" plot all mixed in with Oliver's slightly better "B" plot. She says she needs help. Oliver says it's not a good time but, naturally, she ignores him completely. She fills him in about her and Clark's "side job" hosting Good Morning, Metropolis and their first assignment about online dating. Oliver gets a chuckle out of Clark going on a blind date, but Lois has to admit he did a great job. "You want to be better," Oliver guesses. Lois says she wants him to tell her about all her "red flags," meaning all the things that annoyed him when they were dating. She's got a new dress and rented out the whole Ace of Clubs (overkill!) but needs to identify her faults. Oliver says he only remembers the good things: "Like how you used to brush your hair back when you were nervous, or how you'd call out football plays in your sleep." Aw. That's actually kind of sweet. And yet Clark couldn't come up with a single good quality. Lois smiles, quite charmed until a door opens behind her and a dewy Mia walks out wearing naught but a towel. Mia thanks Oliver for the "workout" and wonders if he could "pay in smaller bills." Har, har, har! Sexy misunderstandings are so fresh! Oliver tries to explain to Lois that they were just sparring. "I'm not here to judge," she says, then proceeds to judge him thusly: "I just hoped you would spend more than one week clean before you got back in the gutter." Lois storms out. Oliver calls after her, but to no avail.

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Smallville

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