Smallville
Crusade

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Down With Robot Clark

Hot time in Paris. Lana is taking a shower in the same amber light as before. Slow music plays as Lana does the sultry shower scene.

Al: Aw, YEAH!
Miles: Hell yeah!

Anyway, yes. Lana showers. Just like everybody. The camera zips around the extremely large bathroom, and we see Lana in silhouette against the shower curtain. Only it's the least convincing Boobs McChesty-looking body double in TV history. Kristin Kreuk does not, repeat not have huge boobs. Sorry. She doesn't. More steamy showering. Lana is breathing deeply. She shuts off the shower and steps out. She wraps a towel around herself. She leans back toward a full-length mirror conveniently placed outside the shower. The ancient symbol from the charcoal rubbing? It's now a tattoo on the small of her back. Does that mean she can be a slut now?

Papa Luthor is in his jail cell admiring his buzz cut in a small mirror. Can you have a mirror in prison? Couldn't you break it and turn the pieces into shivs? Papa sees Lois Lane in his rearview. "You're not [MamaKent]," he says. She introduces herself. Papa Luthor remember her. Lois puts her hands on the fencing. Papa Luthor touches one of her fingers and says she bites her nails. "Bad girl," he says. Oh, he's Hannibal Lecter now? Really? Does she use Nivea skin cream? Papa Luthor starts to call a guard to escort her out. Lois says she doesn't believe the explosion was an accident. Papa Luthor says that of course she doesn't. She thinks he's responsible. "No," Lois says. She says that a stunt like that is "thuggish and obvious," and basically beneath him. She flatters him with that. He asks for her theory. Lois says she doesn't have one. He asks why she's there. Lois hardens and says she wanted to look at the face of the person responsible for Chloe's death. Papa Luthor rolls his eyes. Lois says he may not have killed Chloe, but that he's the reason she's gone. Papa Luthor tries to set the record straight. Papa Luthor says he made an offer. Chloe took it. He kept his side of the bargain; she didn't. Papa Luthor says that Chloe is dead because of her own actions, and that he had nothing to do with it. Didn't he just imply that he did? He requests that Lois have something more than righteous indignation with her next time she visits: "Zoo hours are over, Miss Lane. Good day." Lois stops on her way out. "You know, it must kill you that somebody has given you this gift and you don't know who and you don't know why, but without Chloe's testimony, you'll walk out a free man. Or are you being set up?" Papa Luthor seems to stop in his tracks at that. He takes off his glasses as Lois Lane smiles at him and then walks out.

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Smallville

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