Smallville
Crusade

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Down With Robot Clark

Hospital. MamaKent is reading from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to Bo Duke, who is lying in a coma. It's Huck talking to Jim about the dead man. A doctor comes into the room, interrupting MamaKent. The doctor asks if MamaKent has thought about what they talked about earlier. MamaKent tells her that she's not pulling the plug on her husband. Presumably, neither are the producers. The doctor points out that it's been three months, and that there's been no change. She says that the insurance is capped out, and MamaKent needs to think about the future. MamaKent's lips quiver. "My future is lying in that bed. I will not give up on him," MamaKent says, with a tinge of anger. She sits down. Thus ends this portion of "Defending Bo's Life."

Lois Lane, still at the hospital. Clark is staring at her as she digs through her purse. Clark starts to leave the exam room. Lois tries to stop him. She sits him back down and does cute little "Stay. Good," movements. There's something I like about her more than Lana and I can't quite place it...oh, wait, I've got it! It's that she acts like a person! That must be it. Lois says she's in town to investigate her cousin Chloe's death. She asks if Clark's heard of her. He doesn't answer. Lois takes a piece of gum and pops it nervously in her mouth. "Nicorette," she says. Lois says they're the only things that get her through the day. That and Sex and the City. Lois needlessly explains that, when she was fifteen, her dad told her not to smoke, so she did, and then she couldn't stop. I could see how this character might get annoying in a way that Chloe never did. "You talk a lot," Clark says. Exactly. Lois blames Clark for his lack of conversational skills. She looks at her phone, then the wall clock, and complains about the forty-five-minute wait. Clark gets up behind her and starts to walk out again. It's not exactly Hepburn and Tracy, is it? Lois tries to stop him, telling Clark he'll have to walk through her first. Clark picks her up by the shoulders and moves her aside like a piece of foam. If it were Lana, the analogy would be a lot more accurate. Lois smiles to herself. She's thinking there might be some hot loving in that formerly naked guy.

MamaKent is in the hospital hallway getting herself a cup of coffee from the machine. Clark, in blue scrubs, walks down the hall toward her, then takes a corner turn. "Wait, WAIT!" MamaKent screams, and takes off after him. Lois is there, too, asking what that was all about. MamaKent spins him around. "It is you!" she cries. MamaKent hugs him. "Who are you?" Clark asks. Ooh, Mamaburn. She says she's his mother. Clark looks at her as if she were an amusing squirrel. Lois tells MamaKent not to take is personally. You know, amnesia. She pumps MamaKent with a handshake, and says she found Clark near Route 31. "Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked guys," says Lois. MamaKent gives her the Mom Look. Lois backtracks and says that didn't come out right. No, I think it did. She tells MamaKent that it's late, and that she's nicotine-deprived. So now Clark's mom thinks you're a chain smoking whore. Nice. MamaKent offers to get Clark home. Clark says he's waiting for the sign. Lois suggests a doctor; she thinks the lightning fried Clark's brain. Now MamaKent thinks you're a chain-smoking crack whore who wants to take away her son. MamaKent tells Lois thanks, but that this is a family affair. See, this is an X-Z conversation, so Y you in it? "Here's me backing away," Lois says, as she does just that. If they write her well, she could end up being one of the best characters on the show. Let's keep our fingers crossed. MamaKent spins to Clark and says they need to go home right now. Clark is dazed. "I can help you find the sign," she says. What sign is she talking about? If it's the one I'm thinking, I might have seen it. I can tell you that it truly opened up my eyes. What I learned is that life is demanding without understanding. MamaKent pulls Clark away and toward the elevators. Hey, lady, those scrubs aren't free, ya know! Lois runs into the Attending and tells him that the naked guy's mother took him away. The Attending recognizes the family from their Frequent Medical Care punch card. He says that's Martha Kent. "Kent?" Lois asks. "As in Clark Kent?" She rushes to the elevator, but it closes. And Lois has never heard of the country invention we know as "stairs."

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