Smallville
Crusade

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Down With Robot Clark

The desert. A jeep is driving past a dusty sign with an airplane on it. It reads "L___ball" and the handy translation, "Airport." Lex is in the jeep, his shirt partly unbuttoned, and he's sweating up a storm. He looks as if he's hungry like the wolf. Some professor-looking guy in the front seat asks if the heat is too much for Lex. Does he even know whom he's talking to? Lex, who looks nauseated, says he doesn't want any record of his visit to exist: "Bury everything." He hands over an envelope full of cash. "We will be like footprints in the sand," the man says, smiling. Lex winces. That footprints remark isn't so reassuring when we see a wide shot of the dirt road and there are TONS of what look like ATV tire tracks. Yeah. Money well spent, Lex. The jeep drives toward a waiting airplane. Lex boards it. A blonde doctor is waiting inside. "You're two hours late," she tells him. Lex says that some things are worth the risk. Like Nutella. "What's more important than your life?" she asks. On this show? Lana's life.

Lex and the doctor go to the back of the plane, which has been converted into a high-tech and blue-neon medical room. She exposits about Lex's surviving a massive chemical shock that would have killed 99.9% of men. Lex takes off his shirt and shows us why the ladies and gay men love him. He asks her to spare him the lecture. The doctor explains that if Lex doesn't have his blood purified every seventy-two hours, his internal organs will shut down. As long as his external organs are still working. She attaches some painful-looking nipple clamps all over his chest. "You're living on borrowed time, Lex," the doctor says. "Stop trying to borrow more." Blood starts flowing through tubes as Lex breathes heavily.

Kent Farm. The Barnness of Forgotitude. "What is this place?" Clark asks, as MamaKent leads him up to the loft. MamaKent says that Bo calls it Clark's "Fortress of Solitude." MamaKent says it's where Clark comes to think (he's hardly ever there, I suppose) and look at the stars. She tries to get him to show some interest in his telescope. Clark, instead, goes to nuzzle the globe placed next to it. MamaKent grabs some small picture frames and hands them to Clark to jog his memory. One is a candid shot of Chloe and Lana, looking like they're out clubbing. Clark asks who they are. "People who love you," MamaKent says. She asks where he was before he showed up in the corn field. "I was in a place that felt like home," says RoboClark: 2084. MamaKent tells Clark that this is his home. Clark should say, "This would feel a lot more like home if there were a flat-screen LCD HDTV screen on the wall." Clark looks at a cheesy photo of Bo. He recognizes him. "He's not my father. He tried to prevent me from being reborn," Clark says -- robotically, natch. MamaKent argues that Bo was trying to save Clark from Jor-El. "Either way, he's dead," Clark says, and drops the photo, smashing the frame. Clark stalks off while MamaKent is left in shock. Dynamic Alias-sounding music starts to play.

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Smallville

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