We cut to a parking lot. That's a long way to park for a muffin. Sasha is going to her beat-up old car. She fumbles with her keys as someone puts a hand on her shoulder. Scary music stumbles. Sasha is relieved to see it's just Dr. Knox. He says hoarsely that she has something he needs. We cut to a shot of his gloved hand holding a cloth with "CK" stitched on it. Not Clark Kent, I guess. The Curtis Always Knox Twice pulls the cloth onto Sasha's mouth as she struggles. Her feet, wearing high heels, kick in a puddle. She finally goes limp. Hey, it's Dean Cain! Lookin' pretty buff, my man. Knox carries Sasha off and nobody sees it.
Opening credits. Commercials. My wife is still disappointed that her cheesy casserole didn't turn out the way it looks in the Campbell Soup commercials even though she followed the directions. Stupid false advertising!
Kent Farm. Are these even the same cows anymore? What's the lifespan of a dairy cow in Kansas? Inside, Lana, wearing living-in-sin pajamas (ask for them by name!) is making pancakes. Whoah. Maybe we've misjudged Lana. She's come a long way from her parents' crushening if she can make flapjacks without bursting into tears. Way to go, Lana! Kara, wearing a barely-there white top and some sweats, compares Lana to Rachael Ray and Bobby Flay. We get it, Kara. You watch a lot of TV. You have studied our Earth culture. I'll be a lot more impressed if you can name all the Roger Waters Pink Floyd albums. Kara offers to help. Lana says she's making Clark's favorite, blueberry pancakes. There was a joke on the forum about how it represents Clark's ever-present blue balls, and I am not one to stand in the way of a perfect theory. You guys do know that Clark and Lana are probably totally doing it already, right? I'm sure they've already had the "Will I break your vagina?" conversation. (Lana's vagina. Although Clark's emotional vagina is always in danger of bruising.) Kara asks why Lana and Clark have taken so long to get together if they're so "ga-ga" over each other. If they were any more ga-ga, they'd be a Spoon album.