Smallville
Cyborg

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Cyborgasm!

On the other side of the barn, Lana walks in with some girl. Lana is showing her how to do a barn scene. Basically, you get all emotional and misty-eyed, and you whisper all your dialogue, and you stare into the sunset as absolutely nothing happens. Repeat for four and a half years. It's awesome. BB walks over. Katherine is very cute and is wearing a very short skirt. She and BB hug. Katherine feels BB's shoulders. Saaaay! Is that a robotic third leg, or are you just happy to see me? She asks what happened, and what those men did to BB. He says it's a long story. "We got time," she says, tears in her eyes. More tearful hugs. Lana and Clark smile at each other. Then they look sad. Hey, this was supposed to be our barn scene! Well, now it is.

Commercials. UltraViolet. They sure didn't wait long for that Aeon Flux sequel, did they?

Kent Farm. The cows are just dairy and meat now without Bo Duke to guide them. Inside, MamaKent is watching the DVD player again as it plays in slow motion. There's an explosion; then it goes to static. A knock at the door startles her. She grabs the disc out of the player and closes the lid on it. She hides the DVD under a placemat. At the door, of course, is Papa Luthor. She starts to ask what happened, but Papa Luthor assures her that it's been solved. He tells MamaKent that the man responsible has agreed never to contact her again. "Who was he?" she asks. Papa says that it was a police-academy dropout-turned-warehouse security guard. She asks whether he told Papa what this was about. "I didn't let him," he lies. "I was only interested in, ah, making sure he went away. And he did. Willingly." Yeah. Right. Papa says that one thing still concerns him: now MamaKent is a public figure, and the perception of her is everything. He plays martyr and says that any association she has with him could hurt her career. "I'm not the kind of person who turns her back on her friends because of what people think," she says. Papa pretends to be taken aback, and says he doesn't know many people like her. He says he admires her integrity. So much. It's hot. "The state of Kansas is lucky to have you," he says. MamaKent beams. The man's got moves.

Oh, here's the real Clark/Lana barn scene. Gag. Clark is going through all his old football gear, including trophies, program books, and his old jersey. Why is his jockstrap pink lace? Lana surprises the guy with superhearing and says, "Haven't seen that in a while." Clark says that his new friend reminded him of his glory days. Lana asks why Clark quit football. She says that he always seemed at peace on the field, as if everything weighing him down just evaporated. Clarklying badly, says, "It's just a game." Lana asks why he does that. He asks what it is that he does. "Hide what you're really feeling," Lana tells him. It's called a Kansas closet, Lana. Clark takes a breath. Lana says that seeing how in love BB and Katherine are "kinda reminded [her] of [their] glory days." When were those? I've recapped 101 episodes, but I must have missed that one. Lana says that Clark knows how much Lana loves him, but that they seem to be going around and around in circles. Wow. I hadn't noticed. Lana says that they can't move forward. "I know," Clark says. "Just tell me the truth, Clark," says Lana. "Do you still love me?" Clark says that he's always loved Lana and always will, "no matter what happens." Lana looks sad. Clark suddenly looks very scared. Weird shot of Lana leaving the barn, looking destroyed. She walks out into the sunset in slow motion. Clark, upstairs, wanders around the loft, looking lost. I guess this is what they mean by going around in circles.

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Smallville

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