Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 1115 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Farewell, Sweet Bastard

Commercials. Wow, that's a lot of Gossip Girl commercials. There's this TV network called the CW. They're really, really desperate for a new hit.

Very heavy music plays as we see the top of the outside of the Daily Planet building. Jimmy, Lois and Va-Gina are in a large open kitchen area of The Planet. That's why newspapers are losing money: giant kitchens full of empty space. Inefficient! Jimmy asks why they're outside the kitchen. He wonders if they're going for a snack. Yes, Jimmy. The woman holding you at gunpoint wants to treat you to a Nutty Buddy. Just keep it down, all right? Lois recognizes the woman as someone who works for Lex. She lies and says this has nothing to do with "Mr. Luthor" and that she's here about the photograph that Jimmy took. Jimmy says he takes a lot of pictures. The Baroness wants the one of Papa Luthor in his office before he killed himself. She says she wants the photo destroyed because his death was tragic enough without sensationalizing it in the media. Lois says she could have said that before busting out a gun. Jimmy says he was right on the Delete button as soon as he saw the gun. "You're lying!" Va-Gina says. She says she got on the server and deleted it from Jimmy's hard drive. What about from Jimmy's camera memory card? Va-Gina says she saw that Jimmy also sent the photo to a cloaked IP address. I wonder how much a tiny cloak for an IP address costs, or what material it's made from. Cotton? Va-Gina wants to know where the photo was sent. It was sent to an encrypted name server: yo.momma.net. Lois gives Jimmy a very long sneaky look, the better to be detected. Then she tries to smack the gun out of Va-Gina's hand. That doesn't work out so well. The woman shoots Lois in the shoulder. Lois falls on a stack of what looks like frozen cat food sacks. "You shot me?" Lois asks. Va-Gina says Lois wasn't cooperating. "How about a warning?" Jimmy asks. God, these people are idiots. Can we please move this scene along? "Where's the server?" Va-Gina asks. At the restaurant, collecting tips? Jimmy says it's at the Isis Foundation, 3rd and Broadway, a 10-minute drive. Va-Gina the Baroness leads them to the freezer and locks them in. Wow, that's a big freezer. "I'll come back for you when I'm done," she tells them. Why not just leave them there? That's what Lex would do. Jimmy tells Lois that she's really bleeding. For reals. He has an arm around her and lies her down on some frozen items. He makes her a frozen vegetable pillow. "I guess trying to take on one of Lex Luthor's femmebots doesn't make me the smartest icicle in the freezer," Lois says. Just. Please. Shut. Your. Goddamned. Mouth. My brain is bleeding worse that Lois's shoulder, I bet. Jimmy lays his jacket on Lois. Please don't. The faster she freezes, the slower her lips will move. Jimmy promises to get them out of the freezer. He starts banging on the freezer door, asking if anyone is out there. Just us Ore-Ida fries. Jimmy bangs. And yells. Nobody hears him.

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP