The offices of The Torch. Lois asks Chloe if she's seen what's going on with all the cheerleaders. Chloe says that there was also a school shooting she'd like to cover, and the only two reporters she has are late again. Chloe has a staff of two? One of whom wasn't even here a few weeks ago? How is this program being funded and given a whole room to itself (not to mention the cost of printing a newspaper) if it's only for three students? Gah! You make me so mad sometimes, Smallville! Lois says she was working on getting Metropolis U. to admit her. Clark tells Chloe he was picking up his new jacket. Chloe repeats the bit about their not being Clark's colors. "It's the school's colors," Clark says again, trying to turn it into a running joke the way Chandler might on Friends. It doesn't really work. Chloe tells Lois that the ex-quarterback has burns on his hand and has been apologizing all morning. Chloe asks Lois to work on that story. Lois makes a joke about the guy not worth repeating. Then her cell rings. It's the dean. Chloe rolls her eyes and says she guesses she'll go to the hospital to talk to the football player herself. Chloe asks Clark to talk to Jason about what happened for a story. "Nice save, by the way," Chloe tells Clark. Clark looks constipated, which must mean it's time for a confession. He tells Chloe that because of football, he'll have to cut down on time for The Torch. Chloe, hurt, says, "Oh." She says she's got her work cut out for her, then. Clark apologizes and starts to talk about priorities. Chloe stops him and says that he's the new starting quarterback. She makes it sound pretty exciting. Clark says that the other players don't seem to want him there. Chloe says the team members have been together for three years and Clark suddenly shows up and is starting. She asks what Clark expected, hugs and kisses? Clark has to seriously, seriously think about that for a long beat. It's not what I would have expected, but then this new gay Smallville has caught me unawares. And underwears, for that matter.
"Boy's Locker Room." Whoever that boy is, he must be having lots of people over. Football players without shirts are excitedly opening boxes filled with new helmets, jerseys, and shoulder pads. Someone appears to have gotten an oversized treat in a box from The Cookie Factory. Clark walks in and asks what's going on. "You owe me one, Clark," a player says, putting a jersey with the word "Kent" on Clark's chest. So the guy was just holding on to Clark's jersey waiting for the moment the farmboy would come through the door? Desperate! The guy says he saved the jersey from the toilet. Devotion! Another player walks by and gives Clark a dirty look. Jason walks in and tells the "ladies" to listen up. Ha! I just saw a SpongeBob SquarePants episode yesterday (my first, in fact) where he makes the joke about a coach using the word "ladies" to de-motivate a team and let them know how tough the coach is. Jason tells his team that they've obviously found their new jerseys. He welcomes the person responsible. Wearing a suit, Lex Luthor strides into the "Boy's" locker room. So there's Lex, and Clark and a room full of shirtless sweaty guys. My...brain...it...can't process...the HoYay...BLLLAAAAGGGHHH!