Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 969 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Twin Heads Make One Big Ass

Torch again. Clark and Pete call out for Lana and Chloe. They missed out on the double-date offer. Pete sees text on Chloe's computer screen. "We've both been deceiving ourselves over [Tool Boy]." They're going to the dam to end their suffering. Clark says that Tool Boy wants to kill the girls to get to Clark. He's Clark's arch-nemesis now?

Damn. I mean, Dam. No, actually I do mean "Damn." Somebody from Kansas wrote to tell me she's never seen a dam in all of that state. The Two Tool Boys managed to get Chloe and Lana into an SUV without anyone seeing them and drive all the way to the dam without any kind of trouble. The Tool Boys grab them, pull them out of the SUV, and position them next to the dam ledge. Chloe says that Tool Boy needs help. He says that's what he's doing: helping himself. Gawd. Chloe tries to fight back, but she's tackled and hits her head hard on the concrete. She's out. Lana yells for Chloe. Lana breaks free and runs. But she's caught. Tool Boy with Lana asks for help from Tool Boy with Chloe, who is carrying Chloe toward the dam's edge. "Be there in a sec!" he yells back. More struggling with Lana. Tool Boy with Chloe throws her over the edge. Clark superspeeds in, jumps over the ledge, and falls down, legs flailing. He's not flying. He didn't push himself off. He's just falling. Yet, somehow, the rules of gravity don't apply (did Clark wax his body to reduce air resistance?), and he falls faster than Chloe. This. Is. Lame. Clark lands on a bunch of leaves. He looks up and is able to catch Chloe just in time. I want to vomit. Tool Boy up on the bridge is like, "Wuh...? I studied so hard at math and science, and it's all bullshit?" Clark superspeeds back up, carrying Chloe. He puts her down. Tool Boy crabs a pipe and walks toward Clark as Tool Boy Too tries to throw Lana over the edge, but falls off himself. Lana's holding the bridge, he's holding Lana's legs. Clark checks Chloe's pulse and gets clocked in the back with the pipe. It doesn't hurt him. Clark throws Tool Boy thirty feet into a standing map. Lana struggles trying to hold on to the bridge one-handed. She yells for Clark. Clark grabs her hand just as her grasp slips. Her hand doesn't break at all. Tool Boy Too's grasp slips. He falls. Onto some leaves? Clark helps Lana up and resists grabbing her ass. He asks if she's fine. Wanna go help Chloe now?

Smallville

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