Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: D | Grade It Now!
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Ready... Aim... Misfire!

Oliver's just leaving his training facility when someone grabs his shoulder from behind. He wheels around, fist upraised, then realizes it's Lois. Lame attempt at a fake-out, show. He powers down from fight mode and asks her what she's doing there. She wants to find out who shot her. "There's someone after me and I think they did this to you," he says. Lois wonders why. Oliver tells her it's because they used to be together. "What about all the other girls you were with?" Lois asks. Oliver says the person who's after him knows that Lois is the only one he ever really cared about. Not Tess, huh? Lois gives him a sad look. Oliver reaches out and gingerly pulls back the lapel of Lois's coat, looking at the bandage on her chest. She tells him he needs to pull himself together. "You have to find whoever attacked Chloe and I!" Sic. The attack on Chloe is news to Oliver. Lois reassures Oliver that Chloe is fine, but although she can see why someone would go after a lover, she doesn't understand why someone would go after a friend. Oliver turns away, muttering to himself something about vows: "No lovers, no allies, no disciples." He realizes this means Mia is in trouble.

LuthorCorp office. Clark is looking at Oliver's serial killer wall. He X-rays the metal tubes (guess they're not lead) and sees the arrows inside. Then, like some kind of lobotomized Hulk, he rips the lever off instead of just pulling it down like even a concussed monkey would know to do. He then rips the metal tube apart and gets out the leather roll. He pauses like he doesn't really want to see what's inside, except he just saw what's inside with his super powers. Oy. He hesitantly opens the roll and exposes the arrows. Suspenseful music plays. Chloe walks into the room behind him with her research about the arrows that shot her and Lois, thinking the information clears Oliver. Clark shows her the arrows he just found. She sees the Spirograph and sighs. "I don't want to add another car to the bad news train, but I've seen this symbol before." She reaches for a nearby laptop and pulls up info on an ancient Celtic society of master archers and their apprentices. They were apparently 13th century vigilante assassins. "Think like the CIA except with arrows and plaid skirts," she says. The dialog! It burns my ears! Clark wonders if they still exist. (The assassins, not my ears.) Chloe says it's not like they have a web page, but... they're sort of looking at one right now. Clark reads from the screen about this mentorship cult. The apprentice follows the master and swears off any lovers, allies, or disciples. It's a good thing that they later clarify that this rule applies to people outside the cult, because I spent a lot of the episode wondering how a cult full of disciples couldn't have any disciples. It made as much sense as, like, chocolate ice cream without any chocolate. Anyway, Clark thinks the cult thing doesn't sound much like Oliver, but Chloe reminds him about Oliver's AWOL year after he was rescued from the island. Maybe he joined the cult. This is all starting to make a little more sense to Clark now. If the cult is where Oliver honed his skills, then maybe someone from that cult is back to settle a score. Chloe and Clark trade concerned looks for a while.

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Smallville

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