Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D | 3 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
So Long, and Thanks for All the FAIL!

The moon is still so big in Metropolis. Inside the Daily Planet building, Clark sits at his desk, eying the Legion ring. He places it in a small box and sticks it in an unlocked desk drawer. Nobody will ever find it there! I'm a genius! Clark is typing a letter. It's called, "To the Citizens of Metropolis:" It's the same old Clark Kent blah blah about how he's being called a hero, but the real good is in each and every citizen. He wants the city to realize its own potential and for people to help each other out in the event that he disappears. And he wants them to find hope from within. Whatever, dude. Go buy a cape, already. Lois's grating voice cuts through the moment. She says Chloe's missing "With some Beastie Boy" and asks what Clark is doing. [IMing Mike D to see what he knows? - Z] Clark tries to ignore her. Take it from me, Clark, it never works. He says nobody wants to find Chloe more than him. Lois says she hasn't slept for days and is close to a caffeine O.D. Under his breath, Clark says, "I hadn't noticed." Heh. She is awfully useless, isn't she, Clark? Clark stares at a word on the screen. It's "Goodbye." Lois comes around the desk and asks if Clark wants to tell her about his little novella that's so important. Clark clicks the document off the screen. He says no. "Great," she says, "another ricochet off the impenetrable force field." Clark won't even look at her. Lois goes to grab another cup of dangerous coffee. Her phone rings. She turns and Clark has already disappeared from his desk. Lois goes to answer. "Miss Lane," a low, gurgly voice says. It's Clark in one of the newspaper's phone booths, disguising his voice as that of Red-Blue Blur's. Lois doesn't have Caller ID on her work phone? She can't tell the call is from within the building? Red-Blue Clark says he's been searching for Lois's cousin and that he will find her. I thought Clark was just penning his sort-of suicide note. Why is he giving Lois false hope? Lois, who is standing so close to Clark that if she turned slightly she'd be able to see him, asks how he knew she was missing. He says he's been keeping an eye on Lois. Lois turns, not noticing Clark on the phone nearby, and says she was hoping for that, but had no way to contact him and wasn't sure if he'd save the day. She takes a breath to calm herself and says she's rambling. She's not sure how to repay him. He asks for a favor. He needs a letter published in the paper. It's a complaint about how the city council is messing everything up. At least that's what the letters usually are at my paper. "What letter?" she asks. There's a giant whooshing sound and her hair moves. A paper envelope it affixed to her monitor. She realizes Red-Blue Blur is there. He tells her she's not supposed to open the letter yet, but she does anyway. She asks what he means by "Goodbye." Good one, Clark. Way to fuck everything up by trusting Lois. Red-Blue Clark says we can't always outrun our destiny. Sometimes our destiny is wearing really slick Nikes. Lois thought he was invincible. "So did I," he says. It turns out he's only intolerable. Lois wants to meet him. "I have to see your face!" she says. She wants to see what no one else can see and implores him to trust her. Red-Blue Clark says that's not a good idea. Lois pep-talks him. She says he'll get through this. And when he does, she says, "How do you feel about phone booths?" He says, with no humor, "They're fine." She tells him there's one on 4th and Main. She'll meet him at midnight. She hopes he'll be there. Doubt it, Lois. She thanks him and says that if there's anyone who can save Chloe, she knows it's him. Red-Blue Clark hangs up without saying goodbye. I hope he's not paying for the call by the minute, because that felt like it lasted weeks. [Since I've gotten back into the show, I've noticed that every conversation seems to take forever. They draw it out and emphasize every single word, whether the scene warrants it or not. - Z]

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Smallville

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