Felice walks over to Chloe with her gang of Heathers, who are doing their gangsta "I'm a beeyatch" poses. She says she saw Chloe taking Sasha's picture, and says that qualifies as bias. Chloe talks Felice down from the popularity ledge by saying that she plans to run bios and photos of all the candidates. "Including you. Felice," she says, with relish and mustard. Paul -- who looks nice enough, but turns out to be more dork than man -- tells Chloe that her editorial can only endorse one candidate. He asks who it's going to be. Wannabe Tara Reid says it doesn't matter, since no matter what Chloe writes, people are going to vote for her. Her gangsta bitches seem to concur. Chloe says, "Never underestimate the need for the criminally ambitious to pad their résumés." Paul chortles at that. Felice looks like a horrified piggy with her mouth all hanging down. Felice leans forward and tells DorkPaul that he'd better drop out if he wants to avoid humiliation. Then she oinks at him.
Oh. Man. DorkPaul is at his computer, putting the final touches on a poster cartoon of himself that says "I'll fight for you, Paul Chan." Only in the poster he's actually wearing a full Superman costume, red cape and all. What the fuck? How is that even something people would know about if Superman doesn't exist yet? So Clark goes on to steal his design for the costume in the future? A little advice to the Smallville writers: this could be a long, long gravy train. Don't blow your wad on episode 18 of the first season, 'kay? I know you think it's cute, but cute never got anybody a syndication deal. Except maybe Gary Coleman. Paul eyes his bullshit poster, smiles, and nods, like, "Oh yeah. I just shattered the line of conceit for this show." He goes to the bathroom and starts washing his face for no good reason. I suppose you don't get a WB complexion without using a few Oxy pads. He reaches for a towel. Dries his face. There are either two dark spots on it, or those are two little holes. Creepy music plays. He opens the medicine cabinet. We see some bees hanging around on various jars. We hear DorkPaul say, "Ow" and slap something. A bee falls to the sink. We see him using tweezers, presumably to pull out a stinger from his finger. He winces. Sucks at his finger. He turns. The same bathtub Boobs McChesty almost drowned in is shown, but with a different curtain. DorkPaul hears buzzing and, like an idiot, walks toward it. Pulls the curtain. Nothing. He turns back to the sink where we hear more buzzing. The sink rattles. He leans in. We get an inside-the-sink view of DorkPaul looking down. Suddenly, bees! They're attacking. Paul screams! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the bee-anity! Oh, the banality! When bees are attacking you, make sure to scream with your mouth closed. Cue the opening credits.













Comments