The Talon. Lana -- who has dropped out of school completely -- is carrying some flowers. Clark walks in and notices the absence of customers. "Wow. The place is...." he starts. "Empty? Deserted? Vacant?" Lana asks. "Acting? Personality? Presence?" I ask. Lana says the badly named Beanery has been trying to put the Talon out of business since it opened. She said she's tried price cuts, coupons, and ads. Has she thought of installing a stripper pole and establishing a Hot Legs contest? Lana says they'll have to close in a month if things don't pick up. Clark brings up his hero and asks if she's talked to Lex, since he's an investor. Lana goes all stiff at the mention of her chief competition for Clark's affection. She says that Lex has been quiet, and that this is her battle to win or lose. And she intends to win. Because she's pretty, and pretty people always win. Any time you doubt that, just remember: Boobs McChesty probably beat out about a thousand other actresses to be on this show because somebody thought she was pretty and liked her chestals. Lana asks about the election. Clark says he's not actually running. Lana says it's too bad, because he'd be great. He's honest, people trust him, and he has an "innate sense of justice," Lana says. For once, I'm not annoyed by Lana's presence. Clark starts to smile shyly, getting pumped up by Lana's vocal ministrations. Smiles all around. Somewhere, a toothpaste-company executive just had multiple orgasms over this moment.
Lex in his red-lit lair. He's pouring himself a drink as Clark walks in. Fully clothed, incidentally. "Clark Kent for president," Lex hollers. He's putting roofies in Clark's drink. Clark asks how Lex knew. Lex whips out an election flyer of Clark's. It's one of two copies in Lex's possession. The other one is under Lex's pillow. Lex says he didn't realize Clark had political aspirations. Clark says he figured he could make a difference. Lex pulls a pool cue off the wall and asks whether Clark came over for a contribution. Hmm...perhaps a deposit of USDA choice beef? Clark pauses, looks over at Lex, gives a subtle crotch look, and superspeeds away with the Gayest Look of the Episode. Tempt him, why don't you, Lex? Clark says he came over to talk about the Talon. Lex says he knows it's not doing well. Clark asks whether Lex is going to help. Lex looks over at Clark and shoots some pool. He says he's not going to support a failing business, and that the Talon has to find its own feet. Er, claws. Or whatever. Clark says Lex could at least stop by for some foamy nose-coffee. Lex stands up at attention. He says that Clark is already working for his constituents. Lex offers some advice: a better slogan. How about, "He's Super, thanks for asking!" Or, "Kiss the Clark"? Lex says that everyone has used "(Blank) for President," including himself. Turns out Lex ran for office once, but he says his intentions weren't very noble. Ah. Interns. Clark asks whether Lex won. "Of course," Lex says. Clark asks Lex if he has any tips. Heh heh. Ah heh heh heh heh heh. Lex says Clark doesn't need Lex's methods, and can win on his own. Clark says the competition is "pretty stiff." You see? It's not just me, people. It's not like I get a chubby over these scenes. Lex tells Clark to remember that the man of tomorrow is forged by his battles today. Clark asks if he can use that as his slogan. "Knock yourself out," Lex says. "On my headboard," he thinks.