Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 472 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Re-Pete

Magnificent Bastard Castle. Lex does what he always does alone: gears up a fresh drink. He's so spoiled he can't even pick up ice cubes with his hand. He has to use tongs. Papa Luthor and a helper walk in. Papa is wielding a blind man's cane and dark glasses. He calls out for Lex, who looks as if he's just the most burdened rich boy in the world. Lex says he wasn't expecting his dad. Papa Luthor brushes off his Asian helper-boy's attempt to take off his coat. That's not what you were doing earlier, sir. "Get out," Papa Luthor tells the poor boy. The next time some rich, blind, bearded guy walks into his Ping Pong club in Bangkok, that boy is going to think better about signing on for lifetime servitude. Lex leads his dad over by the elbow, remarking that the doctors say the recovery is going well. As he struggles (overly struggles, I think) to sit down, Papa haltingly says that he's doing so well, he was told to take a break from his physical therapy. Something smells. Oh, yes -- a lie! Papa says the doctor told him that getting away from the stress of Metropolis might help him. This is such a setup for a heartwarming father/son sitcom. Who can we get for this? Alfred Molina? Randy Quaid? Lex asks why Papa Luthor decided to come there. Papa says it was for some father/son bonding. Oh, he means the bonding where they're glued together and locked in a gritty battle for their lives? Papa Luthor takes off his glasses and seems to react to the daylight coming in through the windows. Then he dabs under his eye with a handkerchief. I still say he's faking. Lex asks how long Papa's staying. "A few days. Maybe a week," says Papa Luthor. Lex asks whether the beach house might not be better. The MTV beach house? Yeeeeee-aaaaah! Lex says that the sea air might be invigorating. First, who says "invigorating" except our dads after a jog? And how is salty air going to help somebody's painful, blind eyes? Papa Luthor says he feels like Lex doesn't want him there. Did you see the girl Lex was dating last week? And the farmboy? You're gonna cramp his style! Lex calls his dad "Father" and says he just wants what's best for Papa Luthor. New eyeballs? Lex tells him to stay as long as he likes. Given that Papa Luthor imported the castle himself, stone by stone, that's generous, Lex.

Smallville

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