The Talon. Somebody put up an American flag up above it. That doesn't make the coffee taste any better. The sign reads, "OPEN MIKE NIGHT/ GET OUT OF THE SHOWER/ GET INTO THE TALON." Inside it's...ACK! Nasty Nell! I swore I never thought I'd see her again. She's wearing, it looks like, a purple shirt similar to ones we've seen her in before, way back at the start of the first season before she disappeared to speech therapy. Some older-looking dude is kissing her shoulder. Nell's got serious Flushed Neck Syndrome. Lana comes up to their table, and the guy immediately launches into an unwanted suggestion about moving tables away from the counter to make room for more stools. This guy must really be lusting after Nell at that moment to devote so much of his brain to floorplan logistics. Nell tells her Polo-shirted knight in pressed cotton that it's a wonderful suggestion. He looks at his watch and says he has to go. He and Nell kiss. She pulls back before he can tongue away at her cleft palate. He says "bye" to Lana. Nell leans forward, chin on her hand, looking wistfully in love. "Isn't he wonderful?" she asks. "Yeah. He's great," Lana says, unconvincingly. If it's not about Lana, she can't think it's good. Chloe passes Polo Guy (he's the kind of person who will never be a "Polo Man." He'll always be a "Polo Guy") and gives him a weird look. She greets Nell -- who is still lost on the planet Midlife Love -- but then asks about Lana and Chloe's sleepover. The fanfic writers were right! Chloe looks confused, but then recovers and says they didn't study: She says they had a Keanu DVD-a-Thon. Ew. Chloe says that once you get lost in his brown eyes, geometry loses its appeal. Maybe it's the flat, graveyard deadness in those eyes. Nell says she's just glad they had fun. As she leaves, Lana thanks Chloe for covering for her. Because Lana was out all night tomcatting. Or whatever it is that female cats do when they stay out all night. Chloe acknowledges the lameness of her Keanu DVD lie, and Lana fills her in: she was actually out all night because she couldn't stand to be around Nell and her dirty, dirty relationship. Because they're -- gross -- adults. Conveniently, Polo Shirt is an insurance adjuster that Nell met after the tornado. Chloe tells Lana that next time she needs to get away from "the love shack," Lana doesn't need to lie about it. Chloe invites Lana to come over, anytime. I know we typically don't pay much attention to the lesbian overtones of the show because we're so fixated on the Clex, but oh, my friends, it do exist.
Episode Report CardOmar G: B | 472 USERS: C+
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