We open on a woodsy interior, all nice panels and polished floors. Against the flat wall, we see a shadow. Ooh, it's Alfred Hitchcock Presents! Oh, wait...It's actually a much darker person, as evidenced by a hand that comes into frame. It's shaking and twitching. Wait, did they just rerun "Jitters" this week? Creepy music plays as we pan back and see a figure's back as he walks down a corridor. He grabs his own shaky arm with an opposite hand to keep it from getting jittery with it. It's not easy. He struggles and grunts, off in the distance of the long corridor.
Overhead shot of Lex Luthor, bastard-in-training, as he plays on his laptop atop the very nice glass-top desk. What's Lex doing? Well, as Bo might say, those Boys Gone Wild: Spring Break 2002 Edition DVDs aren't just going to order themselves. Somebody walks in to the least secure mansion in all of history. It's Dr. Hamilton! Hey, Dr. H! We sure missed you around here. Hammy says that he thought he and Lex had an arrangement; he's wondering why Lex needed a face-to-face. Why don't you just enjoy Lex's face and stop bitching, huh? Lex notices Hamilton's hand shake, which has taken on Soundgarden "Spoonman" proportions. Lex gives the Dr. a serious stare-down. "You don't look well," he says. Hamilton is shaking like he's going through withdrawal. He's annoyed that Lex pulled him away from his research. He also doesn't like progress reports. Lex says he hears there are some personnel problems at Cadmus Labs. Lex says that everybody quit when Hamilton started throwing lab equipment around. Damned test tubes! Stupid flat Bunsen Burners! Crap-ass electron microscope! Hamilton thought his and Lex's relationship was simple: Lex writes the checks and Hammy has free rein to do his work. Dude, what dream world were you living in? Hamilton Beach? In his super-smooth voice of deal-closing, Lex explains that Hamilton was supposed to be studying meteor rocks, but instead he's opened Lex up to lawsuits, and thus has become a liability. Oh, and your body odor? Funk'dified. Lex says, "I'm afraid we've reached the end of our road together." That is the coolest breakup line ever. Lex says now that he's Grand Poobah of his company, he can't afford to deal with projects that "don't bear fruit." I hope Hammy doesn't get mad and try to show Lex his angry banana. Lex offers the services of a doctor in Metropolis (Dr. Feelgood, the weird hippie guy?) who might be able to help. Hammy says he doesn't need a "doctor," and spits out the word as if it were "Nazi stripper." Hammy does a little song and dance about how Lex is too "myopic" to see his brilliance. He even shakes his bad hand at Lex, and then realizes the folly of his gimp. Hammy leaves. Lex is thinking, "The fuck was that?" But then Lex leans back and gives a long, penetrating glance right through the door.