Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Bed & Breakfast & Banshee

Zod waits politely till after the opening credits and commercials to zip through the night sky. He lands neatly on the Daily Planet's rooftop between two fluttering American flags. He's taken to wearing a long, black leather coat that looks like it weighs nearly as much he does. It doesn't seem like a particularly aerodynamic choice, sartorially speaking. At top speeds, the rapid flapping of that weighty hem probably sounds like monstrously bad flatulence. Zod stands over the city, using his new super-hearing to pick up on the sounds of conversation below. Overly enthused voice actors talk about how low the crime rate is lately because of the Blur. I don't know, didn't a carjacking and two other crimes just happen? In, like, a 30-second span? [They must mean the crime-completion rate. The crime-commencement rate is still the same. - Z] Some kid's voice asks his daddy to tell him a story about the Blur. Zod turns off the super-hearing in disgust. Just then, he gets a text message: We need to meet. As he holds his phone, we see he's also wearing black leather gloves, so now you know he's really, really bad. He looks none too happy about the message.

McDougal Inn. Lois and Clark trudge inside, the night behind them filled with rain and flashes of lightning. Lois complains loudly about how hungry she is and how she already ate the granola bar that was in her purse. You know how some sharks have to keep swimming to breathe? I think Lois has to keep talking to breathe. She's a conversation shark. Clark, carrying their bags just smiles and points out that maybe they shouldn't have driven 40 miles out of their way to see "the world's largest ball of yarn." Seriously? You had a bed and your hot boyfriend ahead of you and you went to look at yarn? "You'll thank me later," she says to him, teasingly. I bet he won't. [Maybe she bought woolen lingerie at the gift shop? - Z] Clark rings the bell at the front desk. All of three seconds pass before Lois rings the bell herself, several more times. The innkeeper comes down the stairs. Unfortunately, the room Clark reserved has suffered a leak thanks to the storm. Clark asks for any other room she has, but there isn't one. "Before I realized the pipe had burst, I gave the last one away," the innkeeper says. [If it was the last one, why did they get a choice of bed size? Oh, right. Pun purposes. - Z] Clark tries to keep a polite face but if you listen carefully, you can hear a frustrated wail come from his underpants. Lois looks over the guest book, sees "Mr. & Mrs. Green" listed, and starts off to confront them. Thankfully, Clark catches her arm and pulls her back toward him. Clark goes off to fix the leaky room himself. Lois looks all impressed at her handy man. Clark is less impressed with the room when he sees it: There are towels on the floor, the furniture's been shoved aside, a bucket to catch the drips, and a piece of the ceiling has given way where the pipe is leaking. Clark solders it with his heat vision and then glances around the room at the interior decorator's nightmare that awaits him.

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Smallville

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