Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Bed & Breakfast & Banshee

The guests of the McDougal Inn have used the last two minutes to throw on their robes and gather outside on the porch. Couples cling together and peer out at the woods. Clark and Lois join them. The innkeeper arrives to assure everyone that there's nothing to worry about. "What could have made that noise?" Clark asks. It's too bad you don't have X-ray vision you could use to scan the forest, or anything. "There are wolves in the forest," the innkeeper says, "maybe it was one of them." I'm sure the knowledge of preternaturally screeching wolves will put your guests at ease in no time. Well enough satisfied with that lame answer, Clark and Lois head back inside -- where they promptly run into Chloe and Oliver, who are wearing matching plaid robes. Everyone stares at each other for a few moments, mouths agape. "Twist!" Lois finally remarks. Oliver pretends to study the pattern on his robe. Heh.

The next morning, Clark and Lois are heading down the stairs and into the dining room. Lois is already in full conversation-shark mode. "How can you be so ehh about the whole thing?" she asks, gesturing wildly. "This is Chloe and Oliver! Together! Here!" She asks if he knew the two of them were dating. Before he can get a word in, she answers for him: "No, of course you didn't, I mean, I didn't even know they were dating!" No offense, Lois, but you're not the most observant girl around. As they find their table, she suggests they sit with Chloe and Oliver. Clark thinks they should give them space. "They obviously came here to escape from everything, kind of like we did," Clark says, pointedly. Lois takes a breath and apologizes for running a "verbal marathon" and then falling asleep on him last night, but promises to make it up to him tonight. Seriously? You'd rather see yarn and talk about other people's relationships than get it on with Clark? What the hell? Clark charmingly says he could wait forever for her. They smile at each other. Upstairs, Oliver and Chloe are just coming out of their room, giggling over something. I'm guessing they didn't spend all night talking. Or at least not just talking. Chloe notices Lois and Clark in the dining room below and lets out a strained, "Ohhh, God," like she'd forgotten about them until just then. Oliver suggests they pretend not to see them, which elicits another laugh from Chloe. Lois waves them over. Chloe tells Oliver to give it up. "It's Lois -- she makes Susan B. Anthony look like a quitter." Yeah, but does Lois have her own coin? I think not.

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Smallville

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