Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 3 USERS: A
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Bed & Breakfast & Banshee

Lois continues waving them over even as they approach the table. She couldn't be more animated. She's pretty adorable this way. They should have her be friendly and happy more often. She pulls Chloe into the seat beside her, leaving Oliver to sit next to Clark. "We had no idea the two of you would be here," Chloe says. "And we had no idea there was even a 'you two,'" Lois says, back to talking a mile a minute. She goes on about how perfect it is and how fate has brought them all together. Oliver, not quite able to figure out where he should be looking, says it wasn't fate that brought them there. "More like fame," Chloe says. She explains they wanted to get far enough away that the society pages wouldn't be able to track down "Star City's most eligible bachelor." "You mean ex-bachelor," Lois corrects her with obvious glee. Chloe changes the subject by trying to figure out how Clark and Lois managed to find out about the inn. Clark says he found a brochure in the Talon apartment and figured that Lois wanted to come here. Lois has no idea what he's talking about. "That wasn't Lois's brochure, Clark," Chloe says slowly. It was hers. Clark looks to Oliver, who glances down at the table but cannot hide how funny he's finding this whole thing. He next looks to Lois, as if for backup, but she just keeps grinning. Finally, Clark asks, "How was I supposed to know?" Chloe says he wasn't, which was sort of the point. Oliver can't resist teasing him: "I learned a long time ago not to assume what belongs to who in that apartment. You gotta use context clues." There's a long, awkward moment for Clark, which Lois decides to interrupt by introducing the topic of Oliver getting it on with her cousin. Oliver is not at all surprised by Lois's choice of conversation. Clark wants to change the subject: "I think they came here for brunch." Lois thinks that's a great idea. "Look, Chloe, there's food!" she says in a hilariously over-the-top way. Chloe gets up and heads toward the buffet table, but Lois grabs her arm and with no subtlety at all drags her off toward another room. Chloe lets out a startled, "Whoa!" Heh. Clark and Oliver are left to sit in increasingly awkward silence. Oliver points out the "little jellies" on the table. Clark drums his fingers and says nothing. Hee.

Chloe and Lois end up on the porch. Chloe, displaying a trait that must run in their family, immediately starts blathering about how she already knows that Lois is going to tell her to cut her losses, given Oliver's track record with relationships. Lois faces her cousin, cutting her off. "Or I could say this is one for the 'win' column," she says. "I think it's great that you and Oliver are together!" Chloe is genuinely surprised by that. Lois is already looking forward to double-dating with them. Chloe tries to explain that she and Oliver are not a couple, but Lois isn't buying it. Chloe says they're just having fun and don't want to make things complicated. "I'm glad you've found someone that makes you happy," she says, "but we're not all cut out for coupledom." That's something she doesn't have to worry about with Ollie, she says. "We're no flowers, no presents, no pressure... and no strings." Lois starts to object, but Chloe holds up a silencing finger. "And with you, we're no comment." Lois struggles not to say anything but eventually acquiesces by making the little "my lips are sealed" gesture with her hands.

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Smallville

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