Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Bed & Breakfast & Banshee

Back at the inn, Lois is playfully shoving Clark out of their room. "Just give me ten minutes," she says, "and you'll get a surprise." He tells her she'll never stop surprising him. She gives him a kiss and closes the door between them. Chloe comes around the corner and stops in her tracks when spies this hunk of manliness. "Chloe," Clark says with a nod and walks past her. "Well, hello to you, too," she says, eying his retreating form like a Cheesecake Factory menu. The next thing we see is the inside of a bathroom. Clark is having a shower and singing a tuneless ditty, the words to which are, "I can't tell you, Lois." Can't tell Lois... what, exactly? That you're an alien? That you're the Blur? That you're addicted to the Real Housewives franchise? As he's singing, the door opens and a woman walks in. We see only her well-manicured feet. Clark throws open the shower curtain, baring his glistening nakedness to... "Chloe?" he asks, after staring at her for a full three seconds. She grins at him, clad only in a red towel. Clark finally realizes he's naked and yanks the shower curtain around his torso. "What are you doing in here?" he asks. She wanted to join him, she says, dropping her towel. His eyes bug out of their sockets before he looks away. He reaches for a towel and wraps himself up. Clark, still averting his eyes, shoves a second towel at Chloe. He offers to let her have the shower, but she presses up against him. "It's not the shower I want," she says. He holds her at arm's length. "Chloe, how much wine did you have to drink with dinner?" She manages to snuggle up to him again and asks if he'd like to share a bottle with her, or maybe go for a walk in the woods. "I don't think that Oliver would appreciate it," Clark says. Chloe looks at him quizzically. You know, it's too bad Clark doesn't have super-speed or anything so he could just zip himself away from this whole embarrassing situation. Oh, wait...

Naturally, Lois opens the bathroom door at this moment and witnesses the seemingly romantic moment between her boyfriend and her cousin. Also, she's in a tarty little Scottish schoolgirl number, complete with corset, mini-kilt and knee-high socks. Does this woman just have a slutty costume for every occasion or did she manage to find it in the gift shop? She's got a bottle of bubble bath or something in her hand. Clark tries to explain, but Lois isn't having it. Chloe, one arm still draped over Clark, seems quite pleased. She hands the bottle to Chloe for no reason other than the writers needed a way to get Lois possessed. The glowing light transfers from Chloe to Lois. As Lois shuts the door between them, her eyes glow and a streak of her hair turns pale. She smiles. Inside the bathroom, Chloe suddenly goes limp and starts to fall. Clark catches her, one hand cradling the back of her head. As she regains her senses, the first thing she sees is Clark's still-wet chest. "What are you doing?" she asks. He asks, "What are you doing?" Chloe suddenly realizes she's wearing a towel. She jerks back with a squeal and beats a hasty retreat. Clark stands there, looking befuddled and moist.

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Smallville

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