Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 852 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Titty By Committee

Bo is washing his hands in the sink. You know, he's been trying for years, but pious just doesn't wash off. Lex, at the door, knocks and enters pretty much in one motion, which I imagine would get him shot if Bo didn't have his hands occupied. "I knocked. I guess you didn't hear," Lex says, referring to an earlier knock that happened during the commercials. Bo says he heard Lex all right. He just thought he'd stand here at the sink by the window so that Lex could see Bo's intense snubbing. Lex says he wants to see Luke. Bo says that if Lex wants to sling mud, he should do it at his own house. But Lex's stuff is so much nicer. The smart thing to do to is sling mud at this modest home. Lex says that he's not holding his breath for Bo's vote. Bo scoffs, loudly. He says he's never liked Lex much, but even he's surprised by the depths to which Lex will sink. I wish Lex had a machine to stop time so he could just go around and smack everyone. "And I'm sure you have such a good view of it all from your pull-pit," Lex says. You sure you want to go with that pronunciation, Lex? You are? All right, then.

Bo drinks deeply from his Bovine University mug. Lex says that holier-than-thou is an easy position to fall back on. It keeps you from examining those around you. Bo grouses that he's known Luke Duke for twenty-five years and never had a more loyal or trustworthy friend. That's only because the cows don't live that long. Bo speechifies that the state needs someone who does what's right and stands up for America and drives an SUV with lots of yellow ribbons on it that read, "Support the troops!" Lex looks away as if burned by holy water. Bo steps forward and says that the state needs people willing to go up against people like Lex. Lex takes his own steps forward and tells Bo that if he knows his friend so well, maybe he should ask his "good old boy" about this. Lex takes out some folded pieces of paper and throws them on the kitchen table. Ask him about the great paper scandal! The raping of trees! The pressing of cheap sheets! It's bigger than Watergate! Bo picks up the papers. Lex says that he decided to do his own investigation after Clark's visit. It's Luke's phone records, with multiple calls to Metropolis highlighted. He's been calling Paula Abdul! Oh, wait, it's the dead stripper's phone number. Whoa. This could be bigger than the recent paper scandal! Bo pees his pants a little. Lex turns to walk away. Bo asks when Lex is releasing this. "I'm not," says Lex, hovering at the door, "but if I found it, you know the press won't be far behind." I remember a time when it was exciting to hear Lex say the word "behind." Lex says he's offering the senator a heads-up. Lex cocks his head a bit after he and Bo stare each other down, and then exits for real. Close-up of the phone statement. The Metropolis area code is up in the 785. But it's entirely possible that Luke Duke has hos in different area codes.

Smallville

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