It took us nearly a hundred episodes to get here, but finally, we have arrived. It's the obligatory "Titty Bar Episode" that we all knew, deep down, would someday arrive if we were only patient and waited out Clark's growth from dumb adolescent to only slightly less-dumb adult. We kind of knew it even more after they hired Erica Durance.
"The Titty Bar Episode" begins not at a titty bar, but at The Daily Planet. Sly move, that, Al and Miles. An orange version of a spinning Planet logo appears on a computer screen. We back away and pan to a ringing phone -- one of those multi-line jobs. Dude, my newspaper still has us using huge beige phones from, like, 1961. If you want to make a call, you have to talk to Madge first and make her connect one cable to another on a big switchboard. If you want to forward a call, you have to have your pterodactyl carry a granite punch card to Madge in his mouth. And then he'll say, "Eh, it's a living!" Chloe, sitting in the newsroom basement in a light-deficient part of the building, answers as the voice of the newspaper's "InfoLine." Isn't an InfoLine usually an automated service? The caller is asking about obits. "Oh, dog obituaries," Chloe says. She tells the caller, with genuine sympathy, that the Planet doesn't really run those. That's ruff. Chloe says bye to the caller. "Die! Die!" says the ever-tactful Lois Lane, who's at another computer nearby zapping aliens or some damn thing. Chloe apologizes. They had a girls' night out planned, but instead, Chloe got called in to take care of "all the news that's not fit to print." Lois, holding an off-white PlayStation controller, is playing a game I can't identify; it look like Wipeout at first, but when it's shown again, it looks like a third-person action game. So...sorry I can't figure it out. Lois snarks that seeing a real reporter in action beats hanging out at the Kent farm. She hands the controller over to Chloe. Chloe says that now that she's swimming in butter, she wants to know what Lois really wants. Mmmm, Chloe scampi.... Lois says she's collecting brownie points because she needs help moving out of the Kents' place. Chloe surmises that Lois went ahead and took the apartment at The Talon now that Lana's moved out. Well played, Wing. ["And I've never even seen the show!" -- Wing Chun] Chloe asks how Lois will ever live without Clark. "One word: 'blissfully,'" says Lois. Lois wonders aloud how Chloe ever had a crush on "Richie Cunningham." Hey, Lois? Sit on it. Lois offers pizza. Chloe says that they're family, so Lois doesn't have to "Tom Sawyer" her to get Chloe's help with the move.