Smallville
Exposed

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 3 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Titty By Committee

There's some hos in this house! There's some hos in this house! Hip-hop music plays as a blonde swings around a pole. A waitress in Fosse-wear walks by, as does a nurse. One girl way in the back is wearing what appears to be a giant furry toilet bowl around her neck. Now that's just dirty. Clark walks in, wearing a suit. I'd be lying if I said it didn't flatter him. Welcome to adulthood, Clark. Clark notices the stripper on stage taking off her top. His eyes widen. No, don't eyejaculate now, Clark! You'll fry her! Clark averts his eyes. "Oh, Lord, please forgive me, for I am about to sport Superwood," Clark thinks. The club manager from earlier spots Clark and comes over to greet him. The guy asks if this is Clark's first time. No, he's sported Superwood before. Clark whips out his club card and says that Lex referred him. Wait a minute, this is a Sam's Club card! No, you can't buy bulk toilet paper here! Clark is asked if Lex will be joining him this evening. In another time, they might have met in the bathroom. I'm very surprised there's no anvil here where Clark would say, "No, I'm flying solo tonight." Instead, Clark says that he's meeting the senator. The manager says he'll show Clark to the senator's usual table. Ooh, busted. Clark looks heartbroken. His Uncle Luke likes breasts. What a disappointment.

The dancer on stage -- who, for some reason, put her top back on in the middle of the dance -- does the splits. The janitor in the back thinks, "Oh, great, like my mop's not dirty enough." Lois watches from backstage. She mumbles something to herself, and then turns around, loudly saying, "On second thought..." Chloe is right there to grab her and say, "No, no, no -- thinking bad, dancing good." Isn't there another way, Chloe? Wait, this is the Al and Miles show. I forgot what I was asking. Chloe says that Lois can ask "Mr. Shoot First, Ask Questions Later," a big black guy standing behind her. He doesn't look at all menacing, so I'm not sure what Chloe is saying here. Lois smiles at the guy. Chloe tells Lois she has to dig deep down and find her inner Demi Moore. Wow, what an amazingly current pop culture reference. Not the Pussycat Dolls? Not Aguilera or Carmen Electra? No, we're going to go with the movie reference of a film that was made when Chloe would have still been in diapers. We're Smallville and that's how we roll. Lois and Chloe take a deep breath together. Lois tells Chloe to use this distraction time to get some good information. Chloe looks around sneakily, and goes to work while Lois prepares to go on stage.

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Smallville

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