Hey, a commercial for Lemon Pledge! Well, what do you know?
Big, bad LuthorCorp with the Darth Vader music playing. Inside, Lex is at the top of a set of stairs, surrounded by guys in suits. For one brief, hopeful moment I think he's going to sing "Material Girl" and get carried down the stairs in their arms. Clark is brought inside, and Lex tells the guards to let go of his beatific farmboy. As Clark and Lex walk down the stairs together (those guards are seriously doing the hands-cupped-at-the-crotch Secret Service stance in the background), Lex asks how Clark knew somebody was going to try to kill him. Doesn't that happen about every week? Even from Lex's wife? Clark only says that it's the same guy who shot Lana's swimfan. Lex asks what the guy wants with him. Clark says that this is gonna sound bizarre (try us), but Van McNulty thinks the meteor rocks altered certain people. Lex asks what Clark means by "altered." Clark says he thinks those people have abilities, and that he had a hunting hit list: "They found it in his cabin." "They" being you and Pete? You think Lex isn't gonna find that out? Lex says the only abilities he has are "playing the market and falling for the wrong women." Heh. That's a good line. Sexually misleading, but funny. "He's obviously crazy," Clark says. Yeah, he hasn't been reading the recaps. Lex says there must be some reason McNulty picked him. Maybe it's just a good old-fashioned crush.
The Torch. Chloe is reminding Clark that Lex has survived a meteor crash, a car accident off a bridge, and a plane crash. He's Unbreakable! Chloe says that even Lex can't afford a guardian angel with that much clout. It's not money he uses to pay for it. Chloe types on her computer (which I covet) that according to Lex's medical records (ethics? What ethics?), Lex's white blood cell count is off the charts. Meanwhile, the White Stripes' White Blood Cells has finally fallen off the charts. Clark is mad that Chloe's been keeping a file on Lex. Clark asks Chloe if she didn't already learn her lesson about keeping secret files. Chloe says that they're her own private notes. She asks when curiosity became a crime. Right about the time they passed those animal cruelty laws saying you can't kill cats. Clark tells Chloe that Van McNulty (almost totally Nultz) has been using her database as a hit list. He tells her that McNulty had the same files on his bulletin board. Chloe looks at Lex's profile on her computer and remembers that McNulty helped set up the computer network. She says he must have cracked her password. Chloe has the Moment of Realization. "Oh God, Clark," Chloe says, "this is all my fault." Clark sighs and says he didn't mean to blame Chloe. Clark must be completely sick of girls at this point. They're all emotional and needy (just on this show! Don't email me, ladies! You know I love you!) and he constantly has to reassure them. He's about to start a He-Man Woman Haters Club. Clark says it's not like Chloe pulled the trigger. Chloe, teary-eyed, says she just loaded the gun and pointed it in the right direction.